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Difference between revisions of "Medic"

From Chewiki Archive - YouChew: 1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
(1. Nazis were never funny, even if the Medic was born during the 3rd reich. 2. A calendar in-game says 1968, meaning there is no unified Germany.)
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{{char}}
 
{{char}}
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[[Image: Uselessclass.jpg|thumb|right|A picture of the Medic.]]
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[[Image:Uselessclass.jpg|thumb|right|A picture of the Medic.]]
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[[Image:Medicupdate325.jpg|thumb|right|Auf Wiedersehen, Liebchen.]]
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[[Image:Medicupdate325.jpg|thumb|right|[[DIE|Auf Wiedersehen, Liebchen]].]]
  
 
==Overview==
 
==Overview==
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The medic is the man who you spam the E button with that never shows up to heal you. One of the 9 classes from the first person shooter PC game, [[Team Fortress 2]]. He originates from the country known as [[German]]y, which automatically makes him a [[Nazi]]. Some weapons used by the doc is the Medigun (healing dying fags), a gun that shoots syringes, and the bone saw that will SAW THROUGH YOUR BONES.
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The medic is the man who you spam the E button with that never shows up to heal you. One of the 9 classes from the first person shooter PC game, [[Team Fortress 2]]. He originates from the country of (West) [[Germany]], specifically in the town of Stuttgart. Some weapons used by the doc is the Medigun (healing dying fags), a gun that shoots syringes, and the bone saw that will SAW THROUGH YOUR BONES.
  
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Though the Medic was originally enlisted for deployment in the Peace Corps. somewhere in [[Africa]], due to a technicality he found himself deployed with the RED team on ''cp_well'' in the middle of a huge battle, and has been trying to get himself out of it but after befriending [[Heavy Weapons Guy]] he decided to stay with them.
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Though the Medic was originally enlisted for deployment in the Peace Corps. somewhere in [[Africa]], but due to a technicality he found himself deployed with the RED team on ''cp_well'' in the middle of a huge battle, and has been trying to get himself out of it. However, after befriending the [[Heavy Weapons Guy]], he decided to stay with them.
  
 
==Arsenal==
 
==Arsenal==
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==Trivia==
 
==Trivia==
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*He's from the town of Stuttgart, which is currently controlled by a [[Dry Bones|reincarnated]] [[Hitler]] and [[Ludwig Von Koopa]].
 
 
*Once acted in a German porno involving two puppies.
 
*Once acted in a German porno involving two puppies.
 
*He has found the cure to the common cold.
 
*He has found the cure to the common cold.
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*Sponsored by the [[Nazi]] government.
 
 
*Is madly in love with the [[Heavy Weapons Guy]].
 
*Is madly in love with the [[Heavy Weapons Guy]].
 
*Once had [[gay]] [[sex]] with the [[Spy]]. The Medic only did it as he thought the Spy was [[Heavy]], until after the incident had occurred. When questioned all the Medic had to say was "The Heavy is a Spy!"
 
*Once had [[gay]] [[sex]] with the [[Spy]]. The Medic only did it as he thought the Spy was [[Heavy]], until after the incident had occurred. When questioned all the Medic had to say was "The Heavy is a Spy!"
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*Was tricked into healing [[Barack Obama]] at one point.
 
 
*He likes to thank [[Engineer|hard hatted friends]] for their good work.
 
*He likes to thank [[Engineer|hard hatted friends]] for their good work.
 
*He was voted homecoming [[King]] in High School and his Queen was [[Zelda]].
 
*He was voted homecoming [[King]] in High School and his Queen was [[Zelda]].
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[[Category:Characters - German]]
 
[[Category:Characters - German]]
 
[[Category:Video Game Characters]]
 
[[Category:Video Game Characters]]
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[[Category:Nazis]]
 
 
[[Category:Gay Characters]]
 
[[Category:Gay Characters]]
 
[[Category:Insane Characters]]
 
[[Category:Insane Characters]]

Revision as of 14:40, 25 June 2010

CharNice.jpg This article is filed under Characters.
A picture of the Medic.
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Auf Wiedersehen, Liebchen.

Overview

The medic is the man who you spam the E button with that never shows up to heal you. One of the 9 classes from the first person shooter PC game, Team Fortress 2. He originates from the country of (West) Germany, specifically in the town of Stuttgart. Some weapons used by the doc is the Medigun (healing dying fags), a gun that shoots syringes, and the bone saw that will SAW THROUGH YOUR BONES.

Though the Medic was originally enlisted for deployment in the Peace Corps. somewhere in Africa, but due to a technicality he found himself deployed with the RED team on cp_well in the middle of a huge battle, and has been trying to get himself out of it. However, after befriending the Heavy Weapons Guy, he decided to stay with them.

Arsenal

Basic

  • Syringe Gun: Fires syringes full of some deadly compound, likely cyanide or arsenic.
Error creating thumbnail: File missing
Here we see the Medic seducing the Heavy to have sexual intercourse with him.
  • Medigun: A wondrous portable device that allows him to heal his allies (and Spies), even up to 150% their normal health. Healing allies builds up the medic's "Ubercharge". When fully charged, it can be activated to make the Medic and the ally temporarily invincible, allowing the team opportunity to advance through enemy lines. How this wonderful healing technology works is still in question, but the better question is why these aren't being mass-produced for hospitals?
  • Bonesaw: The perfect tool for amputation and replacing a violin.

Update

  • Blutsauger: Replaces the Syringe Gun, when the needles hit the opponent, it somehow heals the Medic. Recommended for the more aggressive "Battle-Medic".
  • KritzKrieg: Replacing the Medigun, it heals the same way the Medigun would, though when charged instead of invulnerability it gives the healed ally critical hits throughout the charge. Oh, I get it! Kritz, Crits...yeah.
  • Ubersaw: The perfect tool for amputation and giving 25% Ubercharge for every cut he makes and replacing the Bonesaw.
Error creating thumbnail: File missing
Stephen Colbert dreams of the day he can become medic.

Quotes

  • "Sie Teleporter goes here!"
  • "Prepare for your examination!"
  • "Sie Spy ist a Double Nigger Agent!"
  • "You Are... STUPID!!"
  • "Oops! Das vas not medicine!"
  • "Danke, dumköpfe."
  • "Sie healing ist not as rewarding as sie hurting!"
  • "Vunderbach!"
  • "Jawohl."
  • "OKTOBERFEST!!!"

Trivia

  • Once acted in a German porno involving two puppies.
  • He has found the cure to the common cold.
  • Is madly in love with the Heavy Weapons Guy.
  • Once had gay sex with the Spy. The Medic only did it as he thought the Spy was Heavy, until after the incident had occurred. When questioned all the Medic had to say was "The Heavy is a Spy!"
  • He likes to thank hard hatted friends for their good work.
  • He was voted homecoming King in High School and his Queen was Zelda.
  • Has the same voice actor as Travis Touchdown from the No More Heroes games.
  • Enjoys festivals and going to them (His favourite being Oktoberfest), with the exception of the We-Lose-Once-Again Fest.
  • Heavy won't let him do anything.
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