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Difference between revisions of "Duke Onkled"

From Chewiki Archive - YouChew: 1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
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m (I'm surprised y'all didn't list "traitor" as one of his occupations)
 
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|sex=Male
 
|sex=Male
 
|age=40 (at time of death)
 
|age=40 (at time of death)
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|occupation=Duke of Gamelon
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|occupation=Duke of Gamelon, Traitor
 
|cast=
 
|cast=
 
|nationality=English
 
|nationality=English
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{{vid|o29suu2dZ8w}}
 
{{vid|o29suu2dZ8w}}
  
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Duke Onkled was the ruler of [[Gamelon]] from 1977-1993 and reclaimed his throne shortly after resurrection in 1996 and currently holds the position.
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Duke Onkled was the ruler of [[Gamelon]] from 1997-1993.
  
  
 
In his allegiance to [[Ganon]], Duke Onkled gave [[King Harkinian|the King of Hyrule]] over to [[Ganon]] in turn for fortune and overall material wealth. Once [[Zelda]] rescued the King from Ganon, Duke Onkled's alliance with Ganon was shattered and Duke Onkled was placed at the mercy of the King. As punishment for his treason towards the King he was ordered to scrub all of the floors in Hyrule, an order that was only put to an end upon Onkled's [[Die|death]] (see below).
 
In his allegiance to [[Ganon]], Duke Onkled gave [[King Harkinian|the King of Hyrule]] over to [[Ganon]] in turn for fortune and overall material wealth. Once [[Zelda]] rescued the King from Ganon, Duke Onkled's alliance with Ganon was shattered and Duke Onkled was placed at the mercy of the King. As punishment for his treason towards the King he was ordered to scrub all of the floors in Hyrule, an order that was only put to an end upon Onkled's [[Die|death]] (see below).
  
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Duke Onkled has a problem with indigestion, causing him to constantly experience diarrhea. Many people have banned him from public and private bathrooms as he has
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Duke Onkled has a problem with constipation, causing him to constantly grimace.
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inadvertently flooded the bathroom with loosely viscous fecal matter in one bowel movement, causing the location to be ruled inhabitable and condemned.
 
  
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Duke Onkled also experiences bad gas in his digestive system and his vehicle's fuel tank. The former is a result of a combonation of consuming massive quantities of McBean Burrito's and the irritable bowel syndrome, IBS, that he was diagnosed with after he banished [[Militron]] into his ass portal.
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Cultural Heritage: UK
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Cultural Heritage: Hylian and Skunk
 
  
 
==Quotes==
 
==Quotes==
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{{poopquote|Duke Onkled|Go all the way left and move the rock, [[This Key™|This Key]] opens the gate.}}
 
{{poopquote|Duke Onkled|Go all the way left and move the rock, [[This Key™|This Key]] opens the gate.}}
 
{{poopquote|Duke Onkled|Please, your omnipotence, have mercy!}}
 
{{poopquote|Duke Onkled|Please, your omnipotence, have mercy!}}
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{{poopquote|Duke Onkled|Waaah! I'm tellin' on you!}}
 
 
{{poopquote|Duke Onkled|[[No]]. Go [[Sex|fuck]] a goat. Go fuck yourself. I'll tell your omnipotence you rape me.}}
 
{{poopquote|Duke Onkled|[[No]]. Go [[Sex|fuck]] a goat. Go fuck yourself. I'll tell your omnipotence you rape me.}}
 
{{poopquote|Duke Onkled|Go all the way left and [[Gay|suck the cock]].}}
 
{{poopquote|Duke Onkled|Go all the way left and [[Gay|suck the cock]].}}
 
{{poopquote|Duke Onkled|Hurt me [[Princess Zelda|Zelda]]!}}
 
{{poopquote|Duke Onkled|Hurt me [[Princess Zelda|Zelda]]!}}
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{{poopquote|Duke Onkled|[[Cum|Semen]] opens the gate!}}
 
{{poopquote|Duke Onkled|[[Morshu]], sperm please!}}
 
{{poopquote|Duke Onkled|[[Morshu]], sperm please!}}
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{{poopquote|Duke Onkled|How dare you address the King as such! Go kill yourself!}}
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{{poopquote|Duke Onkled|Your omnipotence, suck me off!}}
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{{poopquote|Duke Onkled|I'm gonna buttrape you, meanie!}}
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{{poopquote|Duke Onkled|Link, please! Aide me!}}
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{{poopquote|Duke Onkled|I feel your cock in my ass!}}
  
 
==Trivia==
 
==Trivia==
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*Was blackmailed into betraying his cousin by [[Ganon]]. However, he was mainly persuaded to traitorize Hyrule by his wife.
 
 
*Owned the successful restaurant "Duke Onkled's Diner" which nearly ran [[Squadallah]] Burger out of business.
 
*Owned the successful restaurant "Duke Onkled's Diner" which nearly ran [[Squadallah]] Burger out of business.
 
*Apparently dressed better than [[King Harkinian|his cousin]].
 
*Apparently dressed better than [[King Harkinian|his cousin]].
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*Had scrubbed all the floors in Hyrule numerous times for being a traitor to [[The King|His Majesty.]]
 
*Had scrubbed all the floors in Hyrule numerous times for being a traitor to [[The King|His Majesty.]]
 
*Once scrubbed [[King Harkinian|the King of Hyrule]] for [[pussy]].
 
*Once scrubbed [[King Harkinian|the King of Hyrule]] for [[pussy]].
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*Had his punishment elevated from scrubbing all the floors in Hyrule, to all the floors in the world. Then later, the universe.
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*Doesn't his mustache look like a [[shit|turd]]?
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*Pushed the creation of the McDonald's Menu Item, The McBean, into creation.
 
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*His anus serves as a sort of tunneling portal.
 
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==Death==
 
==Death==
 
Duke Onkled died on February 17, 1993 at the hands of [[King Harkinian]]'s hangmen at a public execution. This is despite the pleadings of the Duke for mercy to [[the King]].  Approximately three years later, he was posthumously declared innocent of all accused charges, and his family was [[Illegal|legal]]ly reimbursed.  [[King Harkinian]] had no comment on the issue. It is presumed that nobody cares enough to involve themselves any further into this matter.
 
Duke Onkled died on February 17, 1993 at the hands of [[King Harkinian]]'s hangmen at a public execution. This is despite the pleadings of the Duke for mercy to [[the King]].  Approximately three years later, he was posthumously declared innocent of all accused charges, and his family was [[Illegal|legal]]ly reimbursed.  [[King Harkinian]] had no comment on the issue. It is presumed that nobody cares enough to involve themselves any further into this matter.
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==Resurrection==
 
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A number of unknown years after Duke Onkled's Death, he has inadvertently circumvented the state of being dead. After multiple attempts to buttrape [[Ganon]] have failed, Duke Onkled grew excessively depressed over the boredom he faced in [[The Evil Jar]]. In an attempt to avoid the reality of his afterlife, he hid within his own anus. During this, he realized his anus still served as a portal even in the [[underworld]] and made his escape into [[Liberty City]]. He then traced his way back to Gamelon and reclaimed his ruling postition, which Zelda was currently holding. However, he Returned with the new title of King as [[Zelda]]'s defeat has cut [[Hylian]]rule, rendering [[Gamelon]] it's own independent nation.
 
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{{DEFAULTSORT:Duke Onkled}}
 
{{DEFAULTSORT:Duke Onkled}}
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[[Category:Traitors]]
 
[[Category:Traitors]]
 
[[Category:Dead]]
 
[[Category:Dead]]
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[[Category:Zombie]]
 
 
[[Category:CD-i]]
 
[[Category:CD-i]]
 
[[Category:Evil Characters]]
 
[[Category:Evil Characters]]

Latest revision as of 13:21, 10 January 2016

Error creating thumbnail: File missing

Name: Duke Onkled
Sex: Male
Age: 40 (at time of death)
Nationality: English
Occupation(s): Duke of Gamelon, Traitor

CharNice.jpg This article is filed under Characters.
Error creating thumbnail: File missing
Duke Onkled's taking a very long and very huge shit.
Error creating thumbnail: File missing
The Demoman staring in horror upon the brutal execution of Duke Onkled.

{{#ev:youtube|o29suu2dZ8w|320}}

Duke Onkled was the ruler of Gamelon from 1997-1993.


In his allegiance to Ganon, Duke Onkled gave the King of Hyrule over to Ganon in turn for fortune and overall material wealth. Once Zelda rescued the King from Ganon, Duke Onkled's alliance with Ganon was shattered and Duke Onkled was placed at the mercy of the King. As punishment for his treason towards the King he was ordered to scrub all of the floors in Hyrule, an order that was only put to an end upon Onkled's death (see below).

Duke Onkled has a problem with constipation, causing him to constantly grimace.

Cultural Heritage: UK

Quotes[edit]

Duke Onkled Duke Onkled

D-don't hurt me Zelda!

Duke Onkled Duke Onkled

I'll tell you the secret way into Reesong Palace.

Duke Onkled Duke Onkled

Go all the way left and move the rock, This Key opens the gate.

Duke Onkled Duke Onkled

Please, your omnipotence, have mercy!

Duke Onkled Duke Onkled

No. Go fuck a goat. Go fuck yourself. I'll tell your omnipotence you rape me.

Duke Onkled Duke Onkled

Go all the way left and suck the cock.

Duke Onkled Duke Onkled

Hurt me Zelda!

Duke Onkled Duke Onkled

Semen opens the gate!

Duke Onkled Duke Onkled

Morshu, sperm please!

Duke Onkled Duke Onkled

Your omnipotence, suck me off!

Duke Onkled Duke Onkled

Link, please! Aide me!

Duke Onkled Duke Onkled

I feel your cock in my ass!

Trivia[edit]

  • Owned the successful restaurant "Duke Onkled's Diner" which nearly ran Squadallah Burger out of business.
  • Apparently dressed better than his cousin.
  • Owned one of the largest keys in history.
  • Had scrubbed all the floors in Hyrule numerous times for being a traitor to His Majesty.
  • Once scrubbed the King of Hyrule for pussy.
  • Doesn't his mustache look like a turd?

Death[edit]

Duke Onkled died on February 17, 1993 at the hands of King Harkinian's hangmen at a public execution. This is despite the pleadings of the Duke for mercy to the King. Approximately three years later, he was posthumously declared innocent of all accused charges, and his family was legally reimbursed. King Harkinian had no comment on the issue. It is presumed that nobody cares enough to involve themselves any further into this matter.

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