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Steve Burns

From Chewiki Archive - YouChew: 1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
CharNice.jpg This article is filed under Characters.

Steve.jpg

Name: Steve Burns
Appears In: Blue's Clues
Sex: Male
Age: 43

Steve is a clueless middle-aged man who is the main character of Blue's Clues.

Description

Born in 1973, Steve was considered very strange by his fellow classmates. He was always wandering off for no reason, supposedly looking "for clues". Ironically, when he was told to wander off, he would stay perfectly still. His parents suspected that Steve may have had ADD, a fact proven by Wes Weasley, and he grew up to live in a yellow house. The goings-on in Steve's yellow house have been observed on many occasions, and prove that he may actually be insane.

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Steve shortly before going insane.

Insanity

Steve has been slowly losing what is remaining of his sanity every day he spends in his yellow house. His puppy, Blue, almost never wants to do what he wants, instead preferring to play Blue's Clues. Steve didn't mind, since he loved looking for clues. However, this may have been his downfall, since little did he know that everything in his house was alive. They were toying with him, forcing him to put up with their sickeningly sweet attitude. Steve was calling his "friends" (who didn't seem to actually exist), and was observed yelling at them on several occasions. On February 23, 1947 (Steve had accidentally discovered that his closet doubled as a time machine, you see), he snapped. Too much was going on in that wacky house, and Steve was running late to get to college. Upon getting to college, Steve went on a wild killing spree, his obsession with Blue's Clues causing him to leave paw print marks wherever he went. Steve was finally arrested for his crimes. However, Steve is suspected to have built a time machine in jail and is currently lurking in the present. He resides in the shadows, and may just be behind your computer...

What was that scream?

STEVE STRIKES AGAIN http://www.clipartguide.com/_small/0808-0710-1117-1754.jpg

Slavery

It is suspected that Steve is really a slave working for Marik. This is supported by the fact that Marik's Millennium Rod only controls people named Steve. However, it is unlikely that this is true, seeing as how Steve is much too clueless to be a slave.

Quotes

  • "Hi, out there, it's me, Steve! Have you seen Blue; my puppy?"
  • "Hi, come on in! We're so glad you're here!"
  • "We just got a letter! We just got a letter! We just got a letter! I wonder who it's from?"
  • "Here's the mail, it never fails! It makes me wanna wag my tail! When it comes I wanna wail MAAAAAAAAAAIIIIILLL!!!"
  • "(Alternative) Here's the mail, it fails!"
  • "It's a letter from our friends!"
  • "We need our handy dandy...notebook!"
  • "We are gonna play Blue's Clues, we are gonna play Blue's Clues, we are gonna play Blue's Clues, because it's a really great game!"
  • "We are looking for Blue's Clues, we are looking for Blue's Clues, we are looking for Blue's Clues, I wonder where they are!"
  • "Oh, you see a clue!"
  • "YOU SEE A CLUE!?"
  • "Am I sitting in glue? Awwwwww man!"
  • "NEWSPAPER HATS!"
  • "Hey, it's our friend, Tickety Tock, you know, she's an alarm clock?"
  • "I don't like you when that happens."
  • "I love YOU!"
  • "I get to be...the Engineer!"
  • "Whoa, hey, uhhhh, Blue, what did you do?"
  • "Put the helmet on the star and then rocket!"
  • "Fuck!"
  • "No?"
  • "What no?"
  • "He's....10 YEARS OLD!"
  • "OOGLA BOOGLA!"
  • "Everyone knows that shoes go on your ears."
  • "You can't eat a cup for a snack."
  • "Will you help me? ...YOU WILL?"
  • "...Favorite, FAAAAVORITE..."

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Trivia

  • Because of his "going to college", Steve's role on the show has since been replaced by his brother Joe. Why a person of Steve's caliber was willing to go to college is a mystery.
  • His yellow house is speculated to be in an alternate dimension.
  • He really hates Yoshi because he once refused to come on in.