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Plankton

From Chewiki Archive - YouChew: 1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
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Name: Sheldon J. Plankton
Appears In: SpongeBob SquarePants
Sex: Male
Age: 66
Nationality: Russian
Occupation(s): Fast food restaurant manager
Played By: Mr. Lawrence

Sheldon J. Plankton is a one-eyed, angry, mutant plankton and the closest thing to an antagonist Spongebob Squarepants will ever receive. His goal in life is to steal the Krabby Patty's secret formula. Sadly for Plankton, his plans always fail quite simply because he's an idiot and he never learns from his mistakes.

History[edit]

Plankton was born in Russia to a viagra pill and a watermelon. Plankton was a con man even as a child, and the authorities wanted nothing more but to hunt him down. Plankton hoped to hide in the bottom of the sea, where he knew that the population consisting of fish would not know anything about his past life, but he had to leave his parents behind. They never kissed him. Later, as an adult, he opened a restaurant known as the Chum Bucket, hoping to take advantage of his cooking skills which he learned in college. Despite the fact that his store is eternally open, it gets no customers because the food sucks. In order to combat the problem, he realized that the restaurant directly across from him was receiving more attention simply because of one simple food item: the Krabby Patty. Plankton now wants to steal the Krabby Patty's secret formula not only for more customers, but also because he has a serious craving for hamburgers that can't be solved any other way.

Likes[edit]

  • Science
  • Holographic meatloaf
  • Assertiveness

Dislikes[edit]

Legal Issues[edit]

Plankton is usually arrested for trying to steal the Krabby Patty secret formula, trying to conquer the world and even littering. Recently, he and Karen had a divorce, and they are currently fighting over custody over the robots.

Trivia[edit]

  • He is gay, and he hid this by making a computer wife. Something went wrong with her programming and now she wants to kill him.
  • He was once a friend to Mr. Krabs. Aww.
  • His family consists of uneducated rednecks.
  • Got arrested for 22 years and escaped almost instantly. Lindsay Lohan learned this technique from him.
  • You will never catch him, not if he switches to...MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE!!!.
    • But deep down, he knows he should have gotten the turbo.

Quotes[edit]

  • I don't get it.
    • ALL RIGHT I GET IT.
  • I EVEN ATE JELLY BEANS THROUGH A STRAW!
  • Lord knows how long I've tried.
  • Being evil is too much fun!
  • It looks like an ordinary penny... because it IS an ordinary penny!
  • (sobbing)I have two ice creams, but I only need one.
  • AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *slurps dink and sighs* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • You're using too much sauce
  • I WENT TO COLLEGE!!!
  • Your parents must have been part computer or something.
  • That's it, mister! You just lost your brain privileges!
  • Oh, goody. Holographic meatloaf again.
  • F is for fire that burns down the whole town! U is for Uranium! Bombs! N is for no surviiiivoooors WHEN YOU
  • CORRECT!
  • This is my lab. And this... is my LABORATORY!!!
  • Goodbye everyone, I'll remember you all in therapy!
  • ...Steamy...
  • After all these years I thought I was the master of torture... but that... that just wasn't fair!
  • Ouch.