Twilight Sparkle

This article is filed under Characters.

Description

Twilight Sparkle was a sheltered, peppy, rich, smart girl with a Robotnik level IQ who is so ridiculously intelligent that she was able to land a spot as a private student of Princess Celestia. She grew up to be a good little anti-social geek with her intern/helper/servent/slave/assistant Spike who SWEARS TO GOD THAT HE'D ONLY GET IT ON WITH RARITY AND NOBODY ELSE! Then she moved to Ponyville because some bullshit about making friends. There she did something, blew something up, killed something, shelved some books, acted smart, read some books, learned, DID NOT HAVE SEX WITH SPIKE, pretended she didn't have a brother, and managed to go through a whole season without a mental breakdown.

She also used to write cheesy messages about love and friendship to Princess Celestia before Celestia told her that her inbox was getting full.

Likes

• Reading
• Writing
• Books
• Princess Celestia
• Learning
• Shining Armor
• Children
• Magic
• Science
• FRIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNDDDDDDDSSSSSSSS

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Twilight and Spike spy on /co/ from afar

Dislikes

• Pinkie Sense
• Being TARDY
• The unexplainable
• YouTube Poop (probably)

• Having a social life
• Not being told about FUCK YOU SHINING ARMOR AND YOUR WEDDING ASSHOLE
• Pony porn
• Dr. Robotnik
• HAVING SEX WITH SPIKE WE SWEAR TO GOD IT DIDN'T HAPPEN
• The world

Quotes

• "All the ponies in this town are CRAZY!"
• "Dear Princess Celestia..."
• "UGH! NEVER MIND!"
• "You ruined my horn!"
• "I don't get it"
• "YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES!"

Twilight finds some children playing alone

• "This is my book. And I'm going to READ IT!"
• "My friends... have turned into complete JERKS!"
• "Congratulations Spike, you're the new Rainbow Dash."
• "So he's just... growing up? But that doesn't explain why he keeps grabbing things."
• "I'll be TAAAAARRRRRRRRDDDDDDYYYYYYYYY!"
• "Clock. Is. Ticking."
• "How can there be two 'me's? It's not scientifically possible. You are not scientifically possible!"

Trivia

• She's named after that book series with the sparkling vampires.
• Was originally going to be named "Twilight Twinkle".
• She enjoys finding children alone.
• SHE HAS NEVER HAD SEX WITH SPIKE! IT NEVER HAPPENED! REALLY!
• She believes in science and magic at the same time.
• Symbolizes the Element of Magic (and the Periodic Table of Elements).
• Has an alternate version named "Twilit Blend" who is played by Matt Paxton.
• Stars as a pony that grows a dick on her head in the hit comedy, "The Dickhead".
• Does everything by the book, to the point of looking up what to do after a tree crashes through her window.
• Being tardy will apparently cause her brain to explode.
• She is locked in a constant battle of wits communicated via letters with her rival, Dr. Robotnik.
• She found a time travel spell in a library and used it to become a street punk.
• She is the creator of a robotic clone of Rainbow Dash called the R-Dash 9000.
• Her hair is shockingly similar to the hair of Anarchy Stocking.