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From Chewiki Archive - YouChew: 1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
This article is filed under Characters.
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Mario Head is a cursed demon. He teaches typing to people despite his low intelligence, and has a severe sweet tooth. Although he is known to have violent outbursts at time, he can't hurt anyone outside of biting them because he's just a floating disembodied head. He is also a liar, because he said he was falling and couldn't get up, but he could get up because he can fly.
- He's always wanted to die.
- He's got mad flying skills.
- His nose looks like a PENIS.
- He has a beautiful singing voice and often offers bypassers to sing for them about moray eels.
- His best friend is Blue Koopa and he's often seen hanging around at his place.
- He has a not harmful variaton of epilepsy as he's seen having seizures pretty often.
- Gains much power from chocolate milk allergies. (see the poop to the right, Mario's Head is Allergic to Chocolate Milk.)
- You were afraid of Mario Head as a little kid. I can't blame you....
- He often eats entire boxes of candy, and then goes on a sugar-high spasm, flying and drifting all over Blue Koopa's lair and making a mess.
- Despite being a complete moron with a negative IQ, his students still seem to learn how to type from him, and a speech he gave at Oxford, Yale, and Harvard went over surprisingly well.
- He ain't got nobody.
- Why he decided to take a profession in teaching typing if he can't type without hands is a mystery. So here's a fair enough answer: If you can, do, if you can't, teach.
- Wario Head hates him.
- His favorite Pokemon is Gastly.
- He is also known to temporarily grow a body and play Go Fish with people like the Heavy Weapons Guy, often getting frustrated when he loses.
- Made a comeback in High-Def, but was quickly canceled due to being too fucking creepy.
- He does a very good impression of both American advertisements and American racism. Albeit how he knows how to do American racism is sort of beyond me.
- For some strange reason, he ended up being in Super Mario 64.
- He also returned along with a friend named Yoshi Head in the Nintendo DS remake of Super Mario 64.
- Contrary to popular belief, Mario Teaches Typing is not the first time Mario Head was discovered! The first time was found in a 1992 convention called the "Summer Consumer Electronic Show". The guy who did voice there, however, was not the current Mario voice actor, but rather some guy named Steve Coyle.
- "Can I sing a song for you?"
- "When the moon hits you eye, like a big-a pizza pie, that's amore!"
- "When an eel lunges out, and takes a bite of your snout, that's a moray!"
- "Watch out for falling rocks!"
- "It's-a your turn to type!"
- "That was my impression of American racism! Thank you-a very much! Thank you, thank you!"
- "My nose feels-a funny against this screen!"
- "POLE POSITION!"
- "FOUR WHEELS OF FURY!"
- "POLE FURY!"
- "FOUR WHEELS OF PPOOSSIITTIIOONN!!"
- "I'm-a gonna fly for you!"
- "Mario's tunnel of-a doom."
- "Where is everbody? Hey! Don't leave me all alone! COME BACK!"
- "Get ready to move your PINGORZ!
- "I hope your gonna be a great tipest one day!"
- "I bet your thirsty!"