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Difference between revisions of "Duke Onkled"

From Chewiki Archive - YouChew: 1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
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==Quotes==
 
==Quotes==
{{poopquote|Duke Onkled|Don't hurt me [[Zelda]]!}}  
+
{{poopquote|Duke Onkled|D-don't hurt me [[Princess Zelda|Zelda]]!}}  
 
{{poopquote|Duke Onkled|I'll tell you the secret way into Reesong Palace.}}
 
{{poopquote|Duke Onkled|I'll tell you the secret way into Reesong Palace.}}
 
{{poopquote|Duke Onkled|Go all the way left and move the rock, [[This Key™|This Key]] opens the gate.}}
 
{{poopquote|Duke Onkled|Go all the way left and move the rock, [[This Key™|This Key]] opens the gate.}}
 
{{poopquote|Duke Onkled|Please, your omnipotence, have mercy!}}
 
{{poopquote|Duke Onkled|Please, your omnipotence, have mercy!}}
 +
{{poopquote|Duke Onkled|[[No]]. Go [[Sex|fuck]] a goat. Go fuck yourself. I'll tell your omnipotence you rape me.}}
 +
{{poopquote|Duke Onkled|Go all the way left and suck the cock.}}
 +
{{poopquote|Duke Onkled|Hurt me [[Princess Zelda|Zelda]]!}}
 +
{{poopquote|Duke Onkled|[[Morshu]], sperm please!}}
  
 
==Trivia==
 
==Trivia==
*Owned the successful restaurant "Duke Onkled's Diner" which nearly ran Squadallah Burger out of business.
+
*Owned the successful restaurant "Duke Onkled's Diner" which nearly ran [[Squadallah]] Burger out of business.
*Apparently dressed better than his cousin.
+
*Apparently dressed better than [[King Harkinian|his cousin]].
*Owned one of the largest keys in history.
+
*Owned one of the largest [[This Key|keys]] in history.
 
*Had scrubbed all the floors in Hyrule numerous times for being a traitor to [[The King|His Majesty.]]
 
*Had scrubbed all the floors in Hyrule numerous times for being a traitor to [[The King|His Majesty.]]
*Once scrubbed [[the King of Hyrule]] for [[pussy]].
+
*Once scrubbed [[King Harkinian|the King of Hyrule]] for [[pussy]].
*He looks a lot richer than the king.
 
 
[[Category:CD-i]]
 
[[Category:CD-i]]
 
[[Category:Evil Characters]]
 
[[Category:Evil Characters]]

Revision as of 12:15, 10 June 2010

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Name: Charles George Onkled
Sex: Male
Nationality: English
Occupation(s): Duke of Gamelon

CharNice.jpg This article is filed under Characters.
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Duke Onkled's taking a very long and very huge shit.

Duke Onkled was the ruler of Gamelon from 1977-1992.

In his allegiance to Ganon, Duke Onkled gave the King of Hyrule over to Ganon in turn for fortune and overall material wealth. Once Zelda rescued the King from Ganon, Duke Onkled's alliance with Ganon was shattered and Duke Onkled was placed at the mercy of the King. As punishment for his treason towards the King he was ordered to scrub all of the floors in Hyrule, an order that was only put to an end upon Onkled's death (see below).

Duke Onkled has a problem with constipation, as seen in the above pic.

Cultural Heritage: UK

Quotes

Duke Onkled Duke Onkled

D-don't hurt me Zelda!

Duke Onkled Duke Onkled

I'll tell you the secret way into Reesong Palace.

Duke Onkled Duke Onkled

Go all the way left and move the rock, This Key opens the gate.

Duke Onkled Duke Onkled

Please, your omnipotence, have mercy!

Duke Onkled Duke Onkled

No. Go fuck a goat. Go fuck yourself. I'll tell your omnipotence you rape me.

Duke Onkled Duke Onkled

Go all the way left and suck the cock.

Duke Onkled Duke Onkled

Hurt me Zelda!

Duke Onkled Duke Onkled

Morshu, sperm please!

Trivia

  • Owned the successful restaurant "Duke Onkled's Diner" which nearly ran Squadallah Burger out of business.
  • Apparently dressed better than his cousin.
  • Owned one of the largest keys in history.
  • Had scrubbed all the floors in Hyrule numerous times for being a traitor to His Majesty.
  • Once scrubbed the King of Hyrule for pussy.

Death

Duke Onkled died on February 17, 1992 at the hands of King Harkinian's hangmen at a public execution. This is despite the pleadings of the Duke for mercy to the King. Approximately three years later, he was posthumously declared innocent of all accused charges, and his family was legally reimbursed. King Harkinian had no comment on the issue. It is presumed that nobody cares enough to involve themselves any further into this matter.

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The Demoman staring in horror upon the brutal execution of Duke Onkled.

{{#ev:youtube|o29suu2dZ8w|320}}