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Goronu
This article is filed under Characters.Look and see: Goronu, bastard child of Andy Warhol.
Although hideous, after a year of being frozen, car salesman Simon McClure guarantees you will beg to join him. AHUH HYUUUH! He is also in the middle of a heated controversial lawsuit. The lawsuit consists of Goronu raping Zelda in Koridai, then killing her for being a dirty kunt. He pleads non-guilty, saying that he was posessed by Ganon, and that she is still alive. Ganon was unavailable for quotation, and Judge Judy sets the trial date for November 26th. She first has to deal with Michael Vick. Goronu is currently being kept in holding in the Coney Island Disco Palace. This is not his first offense; In his younger days he was charged numerous times on charges including Car Theft, Child Pornography, and Necromancy. He was briefly treated for his anorexia, but it has since returned. He will likely die very soon. Goronu also used to be black, but as since changed. As seen below.
Cultural Heritage: Mars
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Weapons
- A Magic Wand
- Spellcasting Abilities
- Being Hideous
- A 12-Inch Dildo
Quotes
Goronu Wake Up Sleepy Bones!
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Goronu Find the living, and cut their vile throats.
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Goronu I may be hideous, but after a year of being frozen, you'll beg to join me. HA HA!
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Goronu What? Link? You've saved me!
(Since Goronu was posing as Zelda at the time, this quote could be attributed to her as well.)
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Goronu After a year of f***ing, you'll beg to f*** me.
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Goronu You can't kill me! NO! NO! NOOOOOO....
See Also:
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Goronu when he was black.
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Goronu in the intermediate stages of transformation.
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Goronu is now
whitegreen.
