Notice: We are aware that many of the Chewiki’s images are still broken. We promise: we will try our best to fix it, but we don't guarantee that the fix will be trivial.
Star Wars
From Chewiki Archive - YouChew:
1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
Star Wars is an immensely popular sci-fi/action series created by George Lucas in 1977, and was ruined in 1997.
Episode 1: The Phantom Menace
- Qui-Gon and his apprentice, Obi-Wan, meet a retard and a young boy that does Pod Racing, who will eventually become Darth Vader. Qui-Gon dies, and Obi-Wan trains Anakin.
Episode 2: Attack of the Clones
- Too shitty, and isn't even relevent.
Episode 3: Revenge of the Shit Sith
- Anakin finally becomes Darth Vader, and tries to kill his former master, Obi-Wan, and fails to do so, and almost dies. Meanwhile, the Empire is formed.
Episode 4: A New Hope
- A farm boy, Luke Skywalker, finds these droids, saves Princess Leia, and blows-up the Death Star. Also, Obi-Wan is killed by Darth Vader.
Episode 5: The Empire Strikes Back
- The Empire finds the Rebel Base on Hoth and captures it, though Luke Skywalker, Han Solo, and Princess Leia escape. They all end-up in this city in the clouds, where they are betrayed. Meanwhile, Luke and Vader fight, and Vader wins. Vader then tells Luke that he is his father, and Luke tries to commit suicide. Also, Han Solo is frozen in Carbonite.
Episode 6: Return of the Jedi
- They rescue Han Solo, then meet Teddy-bear things. Meanwhile, Lando blows-up the second Death Star. They then celebrate greatly.
Trivia
- George Lucas ruined them all in 1997, except for the ones that didn't yet exist.
- Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones sucked.
- They have one of the largest fanbases. That fanbase is composed primarily of nerds, like most fanbases.
- It holds the record for most movie merchandise in history.
- It also has several cartoons.
- Apparently, according to some weird people, you have to hate some things in order to become a true fan of Star Wars.
