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Rolf
From Chewiki Archive - YouChew:
1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
This article is filed under Characters.Rolf is the crazy token foreigner from the show Ed Edd 'n' Eddy who does crazy token foreigner things, like raise farm animals in his backyard and offer to let people kiss his produce, especially his "giant wiener" (if you know what I mean). Not related to Ed, Edd, or Eddy.
Cultural Heritage: Kazakhstan
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Trivia
- Longs For COOKIE DOUGH.
- Loves balls, and not just those of the sea cucumber variety.
- Has seen many meatballs, especially the fabled Swedish Meatball.
- Likes cum, but only when added in a special dish.
- Is hairier than your mom.
- Makes weird noises.
- One had 3 heads.
- Bit off a piece of wood.
- Also, he once ripped off a stump with his own bare hands.
- Fought with Eddy in MORTAL KOMBAT, and WON. While armed with a FISH.
- Has AIDS, but not from Mama Luigi.
- Owns a potato slave.
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Rolf in the weird form entitled "Three-Headed Rolf."
- Committed the Seppuku unsuccessfully.
- Enjoys eating horrendously bitter things.
- Can sing very well (and very loudly) if you stick a whatchamadoohickey in his posterior.
- Looks good in lambskin.
- His favorite dessert is the poopie cum special.
- WhollyRufus has some sort of fetish for him.
- Likes to go to White Castle for some strange reason.
- Every single year on Valentine's Day, he squirts lemon juice in his eyes just to kill Cupid's minions.
Quotes
- POPPYCOCK!
- Who threw this whatchamadoohickey at Rolf's posterior?!
- Do not burn the candle at both ends, as it leads to the life of a hairdresser.
- F*** you!
- Rolf's kiester grows cold...
- That's my horse!
- The son of a sheperd has AIDS!
