Notice: We are aware that many of the Chewiki’s images are still broken. We promise: we will try our best to fix it, but we don't guarantee that the fix will be trivial.
Duke Onkled
This article is filed under Characters.{{#ev:youtube|o29suu2dZ8w|320}}
Duke Onkled was the ruler of Gamelon from 1977-1993.
In his allegiance to Ganon, Duke Onkled gave the King of Hyrule over to Ganon in turn for fortune and overall material wealth. Once Zelda rescued the King from Ganon, Duke Onkled's alliance with Ganon was shattered and Duke Onkled was placed at the mercy of the King. As punishment for his treason towards the King he was ordered to scrub all of the floors in Hyrule, an order that was only put to an end upon Onkled's death (see below).
Duke Onkled has a problem with constipation, causing him to constantly grimace.
Cultural Heritage: Hylian
Quotes
Duke Onkled D-don't hurt me Zelda!
-
Duke Onkled I'll tell you the secret way into Reesong Palace.
-
Duke Onkled Go all the way left and move the rock, This Key opens the gate.
-
Duke Onkled Please, your omnipotence, have mercy!
-
Duke Onkled Go all the way left and suck the cock.
-
Duke Onkled Hurt me Zelda!
-
Duke Onkled Morshu, sperm please!
Trivia
- Owned the successful restaurant "Duke Onkled's Diner" which nearly ran Squadallah Burger out of business.
- Apparently dressed better than his cousin.
- Owned one of the largest keys in history.
- Had scrubbed all the floors in Hyrule numerous times for being a traitor to His Majesty.
- Once scrubbed the King of Hyrule for pussy.
- Had his punishment elevated from scrubbing all the floors in Hyrule, to all the floors in the world. Then later, the universe.
- Pushed the creation of the McDonald's Menu Item, The McBean, into creation.
- His anus serves as a sort of tunneling portal.
Death
Duke Onkled died on February 17, 1993 at the hands of King Harkinian's hangmen at a public execution. This is despite the pleadings of the Duke for mercy to the King. Approximately three years later, he was posthumously declared innocent of all accused charges, and his family was legally reimbursed. King Harkinian had no comment on the issue. It is presumed that nobody cares enough to involve themselves any further into this matter.
Resurrection
A number of unknown years after Duke Onkled's Death, he has inadvertently circumvent the state of being dead. After multiple attempts failed to buttrape [satan], Duke Onkled grew excessively depressed over the boredom he faced in hell. In an attempt to avoid the reality of his afterlife, he hid within his own anus. During this, he realized his anus still served as a portal in hell and made his escape into [Liberty City]. He then traced his way back to Gamelon and reclaimed his position as King, which Zelda was currently holding.
