Engineer

This article is filed under Characters.

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The Engineer warning you about his heavy caliber sentry.

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The Engineer solving his practical problems.

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The red Engineer is being barraged by too many blue Spies.

The Engineer, or Engineer for short, is one of the people in Team Fortress 2 that is straight. He went to the University of Texas with Dave Grohl to learn how to solve practical problems. He can build gun, more gun, teleporters, dispensers, and destroy them. He also assisted in building Dave Grohl's time machine. He may be able to stop Mama Luigi's reign of terror, but is too busy solving practical problems.

Cultural Heritage: America, Texas

Arsenal

• Shotgun: His pa's ol' huntin' weapon.
• Pistol: His pa's ol' huntin...sidearm...
• Wrench: His pa's ol' huntin' wrench This wrench is gifted with the ability to repair and upgrade machinery by simply whacking at them. Amazing! The same does not apply to humans, of course.
• PDA: Allows him to prepare or destroy his buildings. No, his pa never used it for hunting. The PDA allows the Engineer to set up...
  • Sentry: Can automatically pick off targets. Beware, for the presence of one will cause rageswitching to Spy in an effort to take out said sentry.
  • Dispenser: Automatically dispenses health, ammunition, metal, and Coca-Cola for those certain occasions.
  • Teleporter: Watch your teammates push and shove each other out of the way to save themselves 15 seconds of walking!

Update

• The Wrangler: Allows Engineers to take control of their sentry guns. Replaces the pistol.
• Frontier Justice: Smaller magazine than shotgun, but gains 2 crits for every kill with a sentry before it is destroyed, and 1 for every assist, plus bonus crits for when an Engineer's buildings are destroyed. Replaces the shotgun.

Quotes

• Hey look buddy, I'm an engineer, that means I solve problems.
• I solve practical problems.
• How am I gonna stop a big mean mother-hupper from tearing me a structurally superfluous new beehive? The answer...is a gun.
• If that don't work, use more gun!
• And you best hope... not pointed at you.
• SPY SAPPIN' MAH SENTRY
• C'MERE, SISSY!
• Gordon Freemant, what are you working on?
• Whait oh no where id isotop?
• ERECTIN' A DISPENSER

Trivia

• Has odd tendencies to spout the conditions of his machines, even on break.
• Created a time paradox by preventing Kurt Cobain's suicide. (NUH-UH COURTNEY KILLED HIM)
• Usually is paired with the Soldier in a series of cheap comedies known as Team Phailtress 324.
• Is a world-famous plastic surgeon. He once used a Super Sucking Vacuum Trap to enlarge a woman's bust.
• Has an IQ of 187.
• Has 11 Doctorates in Engineering, all of which were originally his.
• Loves his toys, and of course hates when the Spy SAPS HIS SENTRY and murders his toys, in which a small tear falls from his eye.
• According to the Spy, he is the real inventor of Slippy Toad's inventions, and was hired by Slippy so that he could stay on the Star Fox team.
• His twin brother Jimm was a former "cow-orker" of Gordon Freemant. On the job, Jimm survived a headcrab attack as well as a severe laceration to the head by claymore sword before finally being blown to "smitheroons" caused by radiation. All this happened within a minute.
• The voice actor for the Engineer played the voice role of Wolf O'Donnell in Star Fox Assault, which coincidentally is one of the Soldier's voice roles in Star Fox 64.
• His wrench is a now-obsolete Monkey Wrench, which is not to be confused with a Pipe Wrench.