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Phil Collins
From Chewiki Archive - YouChew:
1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
This article is filed under Characters.
I know you, you're that guy.
PHIL COLLINS.
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Significance
A demonic ruler of several worlds. His powers are recorded here:
- Kills numerous people with a stare
- Has the ability to hump the air, not unlike Mohammed Abdul.
- His crotch took over Japan and possessed it's civilians; which explains the nature of Hard Gay.
- If he ever offers you his hat, it means you are worthy for one of his thrones of power. You'll end up dying somehow though.
- Has died once, but came back.
- Ear rape.
- Ate Saturn for brunch.
- You can't hurry love, but Phil Collins can.
- Has spontaneously combusted a total of five times.
- He challenges Mohammed Abdul to an air-humping contest.
- He kills Bono's (his rival) true love, Africans, on a daily basis.
His only weakness is his sub-par ability to make music on his own.
Appearances
An entire series about Phil Collins is being created by SeductiveBaz, but he has appeared in other poops.