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Vorhias

From Chewiki Archive - YouChew: 1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
NicePooper.jpg This article is about a creator of YouTube Poop videos, known as a Youtube Pooper.


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Vorhias, the last thing you see before you die.

In brief

A riddle wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a mystery wrapped in another enigma wrapped in two more mysteries then another enigma then only half a mystery, then a few more enigmas, then wrapped in a tasty fried dough wrap, smothered in vanilla extract, and then deep fried in maple butter and served to you the satisfied customer.

History

Noone knows how it happened but somehow Vorhias managed to come across the video WELCOME TO THE DUNGEON OF MY HAUNTED HOUSE sometime back in early 2007. After a long period of watching Poops, it was high time that Vorhias decided he wanted to be a part of the action. So he released his first ever YouTube Poop, Billo Wants To Get Silly, to much fanfare. (I made that part up.) While still a newcomer to the craft he has the distinction of being one of the oldest, and has plenty of untapped potential just waiting to be unlocked with THIS KEY!

Right now he is working as a Campaign Manager for the presidential campaign of Dr. Robotnik.

The UNTOLD/FAKE History

Built in a lab in 1987, designed to hunt down and destroy everyone on the planet with the name "Jeff." Something went horribly wrong when someone accidentally poured mango salsa into the robot A-503's flux capacitation driver, and caused him to malfunction, thinking it was Marilyn Monroe with a flamethrower. After 4 years of wandering around in a dress WITHOUT a flamethrower a freak lightning bolt struck A-503 and gave it a fighting spirit unlike any other...which eventually assassinated 147 people in one half-hour...but those people lived in Alabama, so noone cared a whole lot. Soon afterwards he spontaneously combusted, only to spontaneously REcombust 5 minutes later into the form of a YouTube pooper named Vorhias, with machetes for hands....unfortunately this was 1994, and YouTube hadn't even been invented yet, so noone knew what the hell he was doing, so he went into temporary comatose stasis, brought on by listening to the first 5 seconds of a Kenny G album. As soon as he awoke from his self-imposed stasis it was 2007, and he forgot what he was doing and soon fell into a life of software piracy and now manages a chipmunk-fighting arena in Rappahannock.

First poop seen

WELCOME TO THE DUNGEON OF MY HAUNTED HOUSE

First poop made

eDyaa1lWTd0|250}} Vorhias's first Youtube Poop.

Billo Wants To Get Silly

Style

It's hard to pinpoint exactly what Vorhias' style is since he oft tries so many different things from sentence splicing to senseless repetition to complete total image breakdowns, etc.

Vorhias has a few trademarks that he's incorporated into many of his poops.

  • A Star/Comet/Some Glowy Thing flies across the screen at somewhat inappropriate moments. Normally part of the "Fairy Dust" video effect in iMovie.
  • Mutating an image with bump or pinch effects so a person speaking has an enormous head or a tiny mouth, etc.
  • Extensive use of original music of his own creation.
  • A clip of real-life former bandmates Josh Jensen and Taylor Keefe staging a punch, usually with original music or added-on sound effects in the background.
  • A clip of a faux nuclear explosion taken from a graphic arts website.
  • Using as obscure clips as possible. Vorhias has been known to show great disdain for most fads in YouTube poop.
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Not Vorhias.

Prefered Tech

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Likewise Not Vorhias.

Reception

Criticism

  • There was a very brief altercation between him and ApolloBoy against a confused conservative YouTube user, who didn't understand the concept of a YouTube Poop, and thought Vorhias' video, Billo Wants To Get Silly was meant as an attack on Bill O'Reilly. After explaining several times that he wasn't trying to make a statement (Vorhias personally despises O'Reilly, incidentally.) and several shots back and forth between him, ApolloBoy, and the user, Vorhias simply removed every unrelated comment he posted afterwards.

The incident inspired Vorhias to dedicate his next O'Reilly poop, Billo Have Bad Grammar, to the user.

Achievements

  • The first (And thus far ONLY) person to use Kids In The Hall in a YouTube Poop.
  • The first (And thus far ONLY) person to use Read A Book in a YouTube Poop.
  • Marijuana-Laced Toast - #55 Top Rated (Today) (Places & Travel), #60 Most Discussed (Today) (Places & Travel), #29 Top Favorites (Today) (Places & Travel), #44 Most Linked (Today) (Places & Travel)
  • Jawbone Of An Ass - #67 Top Rated (Today) (Animals & Pets)
  • Mylar Balloons! - #37 Most Linked (Today) (Howto & DIY)
  • You Are An Egghead - #61 Top Rated (Today) (Autos & Vehicles), #50 Top Favorites (Today) (Autos & Vehicles), #90 Most Linked (Today) (Autos & Vehicles)
  • This Video Will Eat Your Brains - #30 Most Favorites (Today) (Travel & Places)

Influences

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This Bears No Mention, Really.

Fans

  • People who either don't have a page on this here wiki or haven't bothered to write their name in.

Poop Listing (So Far)

Musical Pseudonyms

Vorhias often inserts music of his own composition at random moments into his YouTube poops. If you hear a song you don't recognize it'll tend to be by him. His random musician pseudonyms are listed here:

  • Sawtooth - General Techno
  • DJ Caber Toss - Exotic Dance
  • False Profit - Wierd-Sounding Electronica
  • Tempest - Atmospheric Techno
  • Clive Shropshire - Contemporary Dance
  • 30 Helens Agree - Orchestral Dance
  • Duke Onkeled - Electropoop Tunes

Maybe if Vorhias gets off his lazy rump and gets motivated enough to do so he'll put all his music into one spot.

ElectroPoop Tunes

Note: ElectroPoop is Vorhias' given name to any electronic tune that has been made with samples of clips from popular YouTube Poop fodder. (CD-i, Super Mario World, etc.)

See Also: YTPMV.

Music Used In Poops

Trivia

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The true visage of EVIL!

Favorite Poops

Likes

  • Cult TV Shows
  • Atheism
  • Anything BBQ'd
  • Music In General
  • Paul Giamatti
  • Bill Hicks
  • The Peace Which Is What All True Warriors Strive For

Likes In A Poop

  • Billo - Specifically Billo being made to look foolish.
  • Freakazoid - One of my favorite shows from the 90s.
  • Obscure TV Shows
  • Super Mario World - Easily more quotable than any other poop material.
  • Dr. Robotnik - I take that back. HE'S more quotable.

Dislikes

  • Christianity
  • AMVs
  • Nu-Metal
  • Conservatism
  • Stupidity
  • Most Animes
  • Dane Cook
  • Carlos Mencia
  • YouTube Pages With Animated Backgrounds

Dislikes In A Poop

  • Excessive Ear Rape - Ow. My ears. STOP.
  • Ed,Edd n' Eddy - Possibly the most clinically retarded show still on TV.
  • Anime - Lame.
  • Overuse of Profanity/Sex Jokes - Seriously. One can only think "Only Link can fuck Ganon" is funny so many times before it gets tiresome.
  • Bad Editing
  • Tidyup - A tiny little loud purple thing...where's the humor in that?
  • Chris Crocker - He's gonna get a reality show because of that video. Doesn't anyone else find that fucked up?
  • Chadwarden - I'd like to nail him to the wall with Wii controllers while choking him to death with an X-Box 360.
  • Dr Rabbit - Why the hell do people think it's so damn funny anyway?

Other Stuff

  • Vorhias has been known to additionally post videos of songs of his own composition in his YouTube channel.
  • Is never seen in public or in the YTP community without his fake metal mask. Noone knows why he always has this mask on. Is he hiding some horrible facial scar? A shadowy past? Maybe he's Osama Bin Laden, or maybe- *SHOT!*

Links

Other Links

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