Princess Zelda

This article is filed under Characters.

Not Zelda.

To learn about Zelda's pregnancy, see Pregnant Zelda.

Zelda is the daughter of the King of Hyrule and therefore the princess of the kingdom of Hyrule. She worries about her father thus constantly seeking Impa for guidance. She is in no way related to the Princess of the Mushroom Kingdom.

Skills

She can play Chuck Fo Fu-- ermm -- Scentless Apprentice on the flute very loudly, smash golems, melt wizards into bubbling pools of goo, get Nintendo products like the Power Glove, and laugh in a disturbing manner alongside her father.

Controversy

Zelda is always in constant feud with Ganon. One day she brought light to his lair, but Ganon did not take this lightly. Ganon sent bolts towards her and claimed that she would die. In retaliation to his threat, she chained Ganon up and threw him into the Book of Koradai.

Legal Issues

Zelda is currently fighting over legal custody of her child with Ganon, Ganon Jr. Also, Zelda was recently revealed to be a scam artist from Nigeria in Judge Judy's courtroom while she was serving as a witness for Ms. Filkins, but the fight ended due to Zelda's death.

Zelda, Link, King Harkinian, and Gwonam finally have their acclaimed dinner.

Appearance & Personality

Zelda, unfortunately, is one of the homelier females of Hyrule due to her "small breast size" and annoying voice. Dispite the former, proof has been found on the YouChewPoop forums that Zelda is capable of being titty-fucked, confirmed to have done so with Link. She is known to have mood swings from time to time as a result of PMS. When she does not get her way she madly tosses mirrors into walls. Some say she is quite the whiner as well. Like most women, her main pet peeve is not receiving any calls or letters or emails from her loved ones at least twice a day. Despite her royal qualities, she is addicted to drugs, something her father disapproves of. She also gets drunk at parties frequently.

Memorable Quotes

• "IMPA?!"
• "Nothing, Link. We were just about to have a feast."
• "Father!"
• "But father, what if something happens to you?"
• "You've got to be kidding."
• "Why'd you do that?!"
• "You did NOT!"
• "Hi, Father."
• "What?!"
• "Stop looking at yourself!"
• "HA!"

Death

Her death has possibly been confirmed. She was telling the players that she would tell them how to fight Ganon's evil legions, when she succumbed to an unknown disease. Within seconds, her face distorted, her body inflated, and then she exploded. Footage of this can be found here. Then again, there are tons of Zeldas in the series, so chances are she'll come back.