Gaston

This article is filed under Characters.

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Gosh, it disturbs me to see you...

Better known for his role as the villain in the film Beauty and the Beast, Gaston is a depressed hunter who once tried to take out his anger on the world by conquering it. However, he was quickly beaten and thrown into The Pit. He has since made a triumphant return to the tavern he frequents.

He hates furries like The Beast, and plots to kill all of them while standing on the rails of balconies overlooking endless chasms.

Trivia

• Every last inch of him's covered with HAIR.
• He likes eggs. A lot.
  • In fact, when he was a lad, he ate 4 dozen eggs for breakfast.
    • But now that he's all grown up, he'll get large!
      • He even broke the record for eggs eaten in the morning by eating about 1,295.31 eggs.
• His hobbies include drinking beer, masturbating and physically abusing LeFou.
• Has a forum game dedicated to him.
• No one ______s like Gaston. Fill in the blank with whatever verb you fancy.
• As a specimen, yes, he's IN-TIM-I-DAT-ING!!!
• He's especially good at EX-PEC-TOR-A-TING!!!
  • How an illiterate buffon like Gaston learned a word like "expectorating" (which means to eject from the throat or lungs by spitting, hawking, or coughing) is currently unknown. Some think that he actually meant to say "masturbating", but it was illegal to say it in pubs, so he just thought that he made that word up
• He uses antlers in all of his DE-COR-AT-ING!!!
• His marriage we soon will be CEL-E-BRAT-ING
• He is the champion of MAS-TUR-BAT-ING!!!
  • Nobody cums like Gaston.
• He's especially good at E-JAC-U-LA-TING!!!
• He's especially good at FAC-TOR-ING!!!
• He's roughly the size of a baaaaarge-uh.
• He confirmed that when he was a lad, his father beated him every night to help him (Gaston) go to sleep. But now that he's grown, he (Gaston) beats his father to sleep. Harsh, isn't it?
• Gaston is the best, and the rest are all dicks!
• No one's dick is incredibly thick as Gaston. In fact, when he was a lad, he at four dozen Extenze every morning to help his specimen grow large. But now, because he eats FIVE dozen, he's the size of a barge. The term "barge" was confirmed to be the length of 192 feet, which is coincidentally as big as Bridgetta's vagina.*He was listed at #5 at the Nostalgia Critic's Top 11 Disney Villains video. He especially liked the fact that he made it so high.
  • He did, however, hate the fact that his song about himself didn't make it onto the Top 11 Villains' Songs video.
• He laughs at the thought about women thinking. Thus, that means that he's sexist.
• Unlike most muscular Youtube Poop characters, he actually doesn't take steroids.
• No one willing to suck dick in order to get his life saved better than Gaston.
• He hates April Fools Day because LeFou always infects his computer with Trojan viruses.

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Gaston after reading one of the Twilight series' books. He's like that for the entire series.

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Gaston after learning about the wonders of Propane and propane accessories.