Heavy Weapons Guy

This article is filed under Characters.

Heavy Weapons Guy is a fat, bald, maniacal Slavic man. He usually gets pissed when sombody touches his lover/gun/masturbatory aid, Sasha. He has yet to meet someone who can outsmart a bullet and enjoys massacaring thousands of people. In and out of battles he pays hookers to let him beat them up.

Cultural Heritage: Russian

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BOOLET.

Quotes

• Oh my god, who touched Sasha? Alright... WHO TOUCHED MY GUN!?
• I am heavy weapons guy. AND THIS, is my weapon.
• Some people think they can outsmart me....maybe *sniff* maybe.... I have yet meet one that can outsmart BULLET.
• HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA CRY SOME MORE
• MEDIC
• It costs 400,000 dollars to fire this weapon...for 12 seconds.
• MEDIIIIC
• DOCTAR
• I LOVE THIS DOCTAR!
• OM NOM NOM OM NOM

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WHO TOUCHED MY GUN!

Trivia

• Is having an affair with Natasha
• It is rumored that he may be in a relationship with the Soldier.
• It is confirmed that he has a grandson, which is the main character of Quake 2.
• Had a threesome with Sasha and BULLET at the same time. He humped Sasha while having BULLET shoved up his ass.
• Robbed a Mcdonalds once
• SASHA AND HIM HAVE SEX
• Sasha was also raped by someone. (But by who?)
• Leon, one of the Heavy's rivals, knows a way to outsmart his bullet, though he believes it's a lie.
• Is sometimes called the Heavy.
• Has a Medic fetish.
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  Heavy Weapons Guy laughing at the clowns in a circus.
• Has yet to meet one who can outsmart bullshit
• Was once killed by Gordon Freeman

See Also

• Team Fortress 2
• First Heavy Weapons Guy poop ever.
• Heavy Weapons Guy and his trademark laugh.