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Difference between revisions of "Sonic the Hedgehog"

From Chewiki Archive - YouChew: 1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
m (Got rid of a bunch of tl;dr shit)
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*I'll whip up my shit special!
 
*I'll whip up my shit special!
 
*You're too slow!
 
*You're too slow!
 
==Sonic X==
 
One fateful day, SEGA fired the original Sonic Team, the creators of the Sonic Games for being furfags. They were later replaced by a new Sonic Team which however, were racists and decided to kill the original voice actor of Sonic the Hedgehog, and instead replace him with a white monotone homosexual. They hired some animation company to make a cartoon which would remake the Sonic franchise and decided to throw him into the real world where he meets humans and hoping to spawn epic orgies involving yiff with [[Amy Rose]] and having sex with [[Princess Peach|female princesses]]. This caused several bunks of AIDS being filled when they realized how people wouldn't be able to be called furfags for enjoying their Hentai. During this era a new emo hedgehog spawned named [[Shadow]] who even though died [[over 9000]] times in the cartoon, was still revived from The Pit. It was at this moment all fanboys could have their epic cumfests when they realized how epically comparable Shadow was to the fag that is [[Sasuke]]. Nothing of this could compare to the epic fail that was when Robotnik was stupidly redesigned with a rounder head and goggles that do nothing, and actually helped that hedgehog in many different occasions. This spawned immediate amount of rage in the YTP community, and numerous lawsuits have been filled reportedly from people including Sonic himself, [[Mario]], every single form of [[Luigi]], [[Stegblob]] and Masahiro Sakurai. Oh and they kicked out Scratch and Grounder when gay rights between robots and/or robot and humans wasnt allowed.
 
 
==Filmography==
 
[[Image: 16_fanart_sonicgottagofast.gif|thumb|]]
 
* Sonic The Porcupine
 
* Sonic Rubber
 
* Sonic Sea Dee
 
* Sonic Jew
 
* Sonic Pee
 
* Sonic Mayhem
 
* NintendoSonic The Porcupine
 
* Sonic Failball
 
* Sonic Draft
 
* Sonic and Anal Fisting
 
* Sonic Pee and Twinkles
 
* Sonic Ripple Shuffle
 
* Sonic Draft Beering
 
* Sonic Casino
 
* Sonic Maze Game
 
* Sonic Not Really 3D: Flakey's LOST Island
 
* Sonic Strawberry Jam
 
* Sonic Sexual Adventure
 
* Sonic Not So Advanced
 
* Sonic Pocket Sexual Adventure
 
* Sonic Not So Advanced 2
 
* Sonic Failball Party
 
* Sonic Not So Advanced Pee
 
* Sonic Rushed Game
 
* Sonic Sexual Adventure : Jews
 
* Sonic Elemental Heroes
 
* Sonic and the Red Rings of Doom
 
* Sonic and the Homosexual Rings
 
* Sonic Rushed Adventure
 
* Sonic the Hedgehog vs Sonic the Asshole
 
* [[Mario]] and Sonic Have Sex at the Olympics
 
* Zuper Zmash SPARTANS Spawrl
 
* Sonic Likes to do the moon
 
* Sonic and the secret seizure
 
* Sonic Fuck Me Gee
 
* Every single [[SuperYoshi]] ,[[TantricNferno]], [[Stegblob]], [[TheDumbening]], [[RetroJape]]and [[MeiAIDS]] Video
 
{{vid|1KuquOdbqlg}}
 
*Supersonic Rape
 
*LETS SHIT Adventure
 
*The BLUE RAPE Adventure
 
*SONIC PORN ADVENTURE XXX
 
*Sonic's Quest For A Vagina
 
*Hedgehogs Gone Wild XXX
 
* Sonic and The Medieval Ghetto
 
  
 
==People who like him==
 
==People who like him==

Revision as of 14:24, 8 August 2008

CharNice.jpg This article is filed under Characters.
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Real Sonic.
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THAT'S NO GOOD!

Sonic is the mascot for SEGA : an exceptionally BAD gaming corporation. He hasn't eaten a single decent sword since 10 A.D. Despite this all too true fact, SuperYoshi has stated on various occasions that Sonic is his favorite actor to work with. Sonic is also a lot cooler and eats less swords than those pussies Shadow and Silver. I hate them so much.

Biography

Sonic the Hedgehog was born and raised in West Philadelphia until when a couple of badniks, they were up to no good, and started making trouble in Green Hill. He got in one little fight and Amy got scared and said "You're moving with you're auntie and uncle in Scrap Brain." He whistled for a cab and when it came near, he gave it the middle finger. If anything, he could have said that this cab was Tails, so he went "THAT'S NO GOOD." He pulled up to Metropolis Zone at approximately 7 or 8 to claim his throne as the prince of the video game industry.

Quotes

  • EXACTLY!
  • LET'S SHIT!
  • Your smile MUST DIE!
  • You won't find Adobe here in Nairobi!
  • That's good.
  • GET READY TO CHEW MY BALLS
  • I'll whip up my shit special!
  • You're too slow!

People who like him

  • Lots of people
Sonic before Sonic Shuffle

People who hate him

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Sonic believes he is cool and popular, but there are actually quite a bit of people who have expressed disdain for him. Among those who have said they "hate that hedgehog":

Trivia

{{#ev:youtube|sYqeMcEs4z0|320}}

{{#ev:youtube|HH7gqBReJ3o|320}}

  • He loves tumble dryers (see video at right).
  • He is a pyromaniac.(BURN BABY BURN,BURN TO THE GROUND!!!)
  • Believes that there's fire were there's smoke.
  • He had a reputation of helping kids learn things about life in a short segment called Sonic Sez, although after an absurd confession to Tails (see above) he lost it and decided to instead teach people about how sex and drugs are cool. Sonic Sez is now the most viewed show in the world, topping all of the existing charts, and being downloaded by millions every minute.
  • He is a pervert. (yet again, see the other video)
  • Has the power to go Super with the help of Super AIDS,he is only one of three which can protect getting killed by it(But using it too much can kill him)
  • He had an car accident in 1992 and his vocal chords had to be replaced. Without anything else, the doctors gave the vocal chords of a local black kid to him.
  • Has a brother called Awesome Possum.
  • He can play guitar. If you're lucky he'll show you his Eddie Van Hedgehog impression.
  • He was actually quite cool until 1998 when he got redesigned by Yuji Uekawa (look it up) and now looks like a retard.
  • He has a partnership with Tex Avery.
  • He Raped Tails
  • Did he put a tube in his mouth ?mao?
  • Spends All day in his house then he went for a 'drink' which turned to 5 and then 10 now hes drunk and he wont be able to play Sonic Unleashed properly