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Mario Head

From Chewiki Archive - YouChew: 1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
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Mario Head drifting around in Blue Koopa's lair.
{{#ev:youtube|LJlWe4dAq3A|320}}The first Mario Head poop.
{{#ev:youtube|pZkZWlAIG0w|320}}Mario Head's favourite video.
{{#ev:youtube|kAFzKNE306g|320}}A rather popular Mario's Head poop.

Mario Head is a cursed demon. He teaches typing to people despite his low intelligence, and has a severe sweet tooth. Although he is known to have violent outbursts at time, he can't hurt anyone outside of biting them because he's just a floating disembodied head. He is also a liar, because he said he was falling and couldn't get up, but he could get up because he can fly.


  • He's always wanted to die.
  • He's got mad flying skills.
  • His nose looks like a PENIS.
  • He has a beautiful singing voice and often offers bypassers to sing for them about moray eels.
  • His best friend is Blue Koopa and he's often seen hanging around at his place.
  • He has a not harmful variaton of epilepsy as he's seen having seizures pretty often.
  • Gains much power from chocolate milk allergies. (see the poop to the right, Mario's Head is Allergic to Chocolate Milk.)
  • You were afraid of Mario Head as a little kid. I can't blame you....
  • He often eats entire boxes of candy, and then goes on a sugar-high spasm, flying and drifting all over Blue Koopa's lair and making a mess.
  • Despite being a complete moron with a negative IQ, his students still seem to learn how to type from him, and a speech he gave at Oxford, Yale, and Harvard went over surprisingly well.
  • He ain't got nobody.
  • Why he decided to take a profession in teaching typing if he can't type without hands is a mystery. So here's a fair enough answer: If you can, do, if you can't, teach.
  • Wario Head hates him.
  • His favorite Pokemon is Gastly.
  • He is also known to temporarily grow a body and play Go Fish with people like the Heavy Weapons Guy, often getting frustrated when he loses.
  • Made a comeback in High-Def, but was quickly canceled due to being too fucking creepy.
  • He does a very good impression of both American advertisements and American racism. Albeit how he knows how to do American racism is sort of beyond me.
  • For some strange reason, he ended up being in Super Mario 64.
    • He also returned along with a friend named Yoshi Head in the Nintendo DS remake of Super Mario 64.
  • Contrary to popular belief, Mario Teaches Typing is not the first time Mario Head was discovered! The first time was found in a 1992 convention called the "Summer Consumer Electronic Show". The guy who did voice there, however, was not the current Mario voice actor, but rather some guy named Steve Coyle.


  • "Can I sing a song for you?"
  • "When the moon hits you eye, like a big-a pizza pie, that's amore!"
  • "When an eel lunges out, and takes a bite of your snout, that's a moray!"
  • "Watch out for falling rocks!"
  • "It's-a your turn to type!"
  • "That was my impression of American racism! Thank you-a very much! Thank you, thank you!"
  • "My nose feels-a funny against this screen!"
  • "POLE FURY!"
  • "I'm-a gonna fly for you!"
  • "Mario's tunnel of-a doom."
  • "Where is everbody? Hey! Don't leave me all alone! COME BACK!"
  • "Get ready to move your PINGORZ!
  • "I hope your gonna be a great tipest one day!"
  • "I bet your thirsty!"
Mario don't think you're fantastic, Mr. Miyamoto!