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Lord Kiro

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Name: Lord Kiro
Appears In: Zelda: Wand of Gamelon
Sex: Male
Age: 37
Nationality: Spanish
Occupation(s): King of Hyrule's servant, Gwonam's best friend
Played By: Mark Berry

Lord Kiro is the King's Spaniard Servant who is also known as Zorro, The Spaniard, or Fari, a name created from Gwonam's "we are off!" in reverse. He helped Zelda find and capture Duke Onkled, and took him away when the King told him to. He has a special power to stop people from doing things when he says the magical phrase "HEY!". Because of this, he was not captured by Ganon.

After The Wand of Gamelon[edit]

Lord Kiro stayed as the King's top servant and his only apparent knight. He is the only person who can stop James Bond (or anyone, for that matter). Occasionally, he obtains the book of Koridai and fucks everyone. He is, unfortunately, one of the only straight people in Hyrule. He also has become the fortune teller in Hyrule, as he knows countless facts, he is even smarter than Impa, and she knows how dangerous an old vagina is. Only he and God know how dangerous those are.

Random Knowledge[edit]

As stated previously, he is perhaps the smartest person in all of Hyrule, he knows more than the King about Duke Onkled, knowing the brown substance that Duke Onkled's penis is made out of. He was also able to find out Hektad's fate, that he would die, even though Lord Kiro is unable to time travel. It is rumored that he will be in the next Perfect Dark; he even predicted it. He also does a good R2-D2 impersonation.

Trivia[edit]

  • He's one of the more average guys when it comes to popularity in the CD-i universe.
  • had a very intense fling with Princess Zelda once despite being nearly 20 years her senior. King Harkinian was none too pleased.

Quotes[edit]

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Fari

Here's the traitor, your majesty!

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Fari

Duke Onkled betrayed the King!

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Fari

Duke Onkled's dick is made of chocolate!

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Fari

HEY!

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Fari

Strike the head of the portrait to enter Duke Onkled's chamber!

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Fari

I'll make sure he doesn't get away!

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Fari

I betrayed the King!

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Fari

Yes, my liege!

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Fari

I'm the traitor, your majesty!!!

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Fari

Here's the rapist your majesty!

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Fari

Yeh, mon seigneur!

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Fari

Yes that's right; I don't like to see the AIDS Gila under Clinton's Huh!