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Justin Bieber

From Chewiki Archive - YouChew: 1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas

In brief[edit]

Justin Bieber is an active pop singer who was found by a scooter on youtube, and this scooter is his manager to this day. The first impression most people got about him was whether or not he was a girl. He hails from the country of Canada, and does not seem to fit their stereotypes. None at all, eh?

At some point, he hit up Anne Frank's house and claimed that if she were around today, she'd be a Belieber, what Justin Bieber fans are called. This narcissism would come with a price though...




Justin Bieber can often be seen getting mobbed by a fan of rabbid fangirls, and no amount of help from his friend the Karate Kid, Jaden Smith, can even begin to make a dent in these estrogen filled nightmares. He tries to use a Segway as his getaway vehicles but this often fails him.

Bieber tried various ways to ward off the Beliebers. He went to a demon conjuror to help make him a talismen that eerily looked like Stewie from Family Guy for about $10,000. It had no effect aside from people thinking he had too much money.

In his second attempt he got all tattooed up, and went racing and driving all fast and furiously while under the influence, only to be pulled over by police, because well... To which he tried to evade arrest. He was taken away for a time to the land of Hyrule.

While in Hyrule, Beiber was forced to scrub all the ceilings in Hyrule, while Duke Onkled was scrubbing the floors. Onkled allegedly introduced Beiber to drugs, which Beiber became hooked to. When released from his duties in Hyrule he returned to his girlfriend at the time to share the drugs with. She later dumped him. And still, he found, the Beliebers wanted him. More now than if ever before!

He tried to develop an acid spit which he tried to rain down upon them, but it had no effect. In fact the failed spilt finally made him realize something far more shocking than he feared: They were immune to any of his "wrongdoings". It is possibly a side effect of the drugs given to him by Onkled.

The last thing known about Beiber is that he was seeing Gwonam to try and get rehab...only to get hooked to HIS drugs instead.

Other Info[edit]

Beiber has been on one TV show, and has a small role in Zoolander 2. In both forms of media, he is killed.