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Engineer
From Chewiki Archive - YouChew:
1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
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The Engineer warning you about his heavy caliber sentry.
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The Engineer, or Engineer for short, is one of the people in Team Fortress 2 that is straight. He went to the University of Texas with Dave Grohl to learn how to solve practical problems. He can build gun, more gun, teleporters, dispensers, and destroy them. He also assisted in building Dave Grohl's time machine. He may be able to stop Mama Luigi's reign of terror, but is too busy solving practical problems.
Cultural Heritage: America, Texas
Arsenal
- Shotgun: His pa's ol' huntin' weapon.
- Pistol: His pa's ol' huntin...sidearm...
- Wrench:
His pa's ol' huntin' wrenchThis wrench is gifted with the ability to repair and upgrade machinery by simply whacking at them. Amazing! The same does not apply to humans, of course. - PDA: Allows him to prepare or destroy his buildings. No, his pa never used it for hunting.
Quotes
- Hey look buddy, I'm an engineer, that means I solve problems.
- I solve practical problems.
- How am I gonna stop a big mean mother-hupper from tearing me a structurally superfluous new beehive? The answer is a gun.
- If that don't work, use more gun!
- And you best hope... not pointed at you.
- SPY SAPPIN' MAH SENTRY
- ERECTIN' A DISPENSER
- Look buddy, I point my penis at my mother's structurally superb behind.
Trivia
- Has odd tendencies to spout the conditions of his machines, even on break.
- Created a time paradox by preventing Kurt Cobain's suicide. (NUH-UH COURTNEY KILLED HIM)
- Usually is paired with the Soldier in a series of cheap comedies known as Team Phailtress 324.
- Is a world-famous plastic surgeon. He once used a Super Sucking Vacuum Trap to enlarge a woman's bust.
- Has an IQ of 187.
- Loves his toys.
- Hates when the Spy SAPS HIS SENTRY and murders his toys.
- A small tear falls from his eye every time one of his toys gets destroyed.
