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Rock TV
Rock TV is a satellite subscription to at least 4,862 channels from past to present to the future, and also one of King Koopa's failed attempts to scam Mario and Luigi. It is developed by a so-called Lotica Studios, as seen in the advertisement below.
How King Koopa got the stupid idea
A cave people family gave King Koopa the idea to start all this. He said it can rot brains and leave Mario and Luigi weak and useless in trying to defeat him.
Features
For a very small price of $1295.31 a month, you can enjoy lots of television shows you don't really need to or DON'T want to watch. In four to six weeks, you get either a small TV made out of stone used to watch your channels, or you can get a very large square bagel-ish TV (which Poopers call the bagel ring), where you can challenge others to wrestle you. Plus, you get a satellite made out of of yarn, paper clips, and some fuzzy 20-sided dice. You can even watch reruns of Tom and Jerry cartoons in approximately 36% of all channels available. If you can find it, there's also a Youtube Poop channel available showing videos of some of the best poops available... on your TV!
Channels you can watch on Rock TV
When advertising Rock TV to his consumers, King Koopa stated that you could watch all kinds of wonderful shows on it, such as Mr. Koopa's Neighborhood, Sonic X, and Histeria, and broadcasts of the World Dinosaur Wrestling Federation. Among the channel on which one can watch these shows:
Rock-Rock TV
A music video channel which, according to King Koopa, features stars like Vanilla Ice Age, Phineas and the Ferbtones, and Hannah Montana. However, no one in Dinosaur Land or Dreamland wants to listen to songs by that last listed artist.
Channel DDD
An independent channel created and owned by King Dedede. It features a whole assortment of programs starring Dedede, Escargoon, or both of them, much to Tiff's chagrin. It has been discovered that Dedede created the channel so he could broadcast a news bulletin with which to trick the Cappies into believing that a demon beast monster MONSTAH was attacking their city looking for Kirby, and that they had to banish the little guy.
When King Koopa saw that Dedede was making the same plan as he was, he allowed Dedede to have Channel DDD included on Rock TV. In exchange, Dedede gave the Koopa King some airtime on the channel. In it, they broadcast Koopa's own exercise program, Koopa Sez, in which he brainwashed the cave people into kidnapping the Mario Bros. for him. Unfortunately for the two heavyweight villains, Princess Toadstool and Tiff intervened and revealed Dedede's newscast to be a hoax. And when Yoshi proceeded to eat the network's signals, it resulted in Channel DDD being knocked off of Rock TV's airwaves, much to the dismay of Dr. Robotnik.
Refunds
Sorry, no refunds. It is unlikely that King Koopa will start accepting refunds when you don't like Rock TV. Thus, you can't return it. If you don't pay your subscription monthly, your television or bagel ring will be smashed to pieces and fed to Third World people.
Does Rock TV compete with any other cable companies?
No, it tries not to. In fact, Rock TV has tried many attempts to force Comcast to try to buy it and make Rock TV a subsidiary of Comcast, but every time, it has failed. It also tried a take over from Virgin, but they didn't have enough money to conquer Sky, the satellite comany in the UK. Recently, Rock TV has been bought by a lesser-known company called Lotica Studios.
Please don't watch this advertisement.
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