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Gaston
From Chewiki Archive - YouChew:
1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
This article is filed under Characters.{{#ev:youtube|eV9A5BjlqQM|320}}
Better known for his role as the villain in the film Beauty and the Beast, Gaston is a depressed hunter who once tried to take out his anger on the world by conquering it. However, he was quickly beaten and thrown into The Pit. He has since made a triumphant return to the tavern he frequents.
He hates furries like The Beast, and plots to kill all of them while standing on the rails of balconies overlooking endless chasms.
Trivia
- He likes eggs. A lot.
- In fact, when he was a lad, he ate 4 dozen eggs for breakfast.
- But now that he's all grown up, he'll get large!
- In fact, when he was a lad, he ate 4 dozen eggs for breakfast.
- His hobbies include drinking beer and beating up LeFou.
- Once broke the record for eggs eaten in the morning by eating about 1,295.31 eggs.
- Every last inch of him's covered with HAIR.
- No one ______s like Gaston. Fill in the blank with whatever verb you fancy.
- As a specimen, yes, he's IN-TIM-I-DAT-ING!!!
- He's especially good at EX-PEC-TOR-A-TING!!!
- He uses antlers in all of his DE-COR-AT-ING!!!
- His marriage we soon will be CEL-E-BRAT-ING
- He's roughly the size of a baaaaarge-uh.
- Gaston is the best, and the rest are all dicks!
- He is the champion of MAS-TUR-BAT-ING!!!
- Nobody cums like Gaston.
- He's especially good at E-JAC-U-LA-TING!!!
- He confirmed that when he was a lad, his father beated him every night to help him (Gaston) go to sleep. But now that he's grown, he (Gaston) beats his father to sleep. Harsh, isn't it?
- How an illiterate buffon like Gaston learned a word like "expectorating" (which means to eject from the throat or lungs by spitting, hawking, or coughing) is currently unknown. Some think that he actually meant to say "masturbating", but it was illegal to say it in pubs, so he just thought that he made that word up.
- He was listed at #5 at the Nostalgia Critic's Top 11 Disney Villains video. He especially liked the fact that he made it so high.
- He laughs at the thought about women thinking. Thus, that means that he's sexist.
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Gaston after reading one of the Twilight series' books. He's like that for the entire series.
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Gaston after learning about the wonders of Propane and propane accessories.
