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Facepalm Luigi

From Chewiki Archive - YouChew: 1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
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Emo Luigi is one of Luigi's many forms (also known by SuperYoshi as Facepalm Luigi). This is what happens when Luigi discovers the effect he has had on YouTube Poop, or once he realises he is no longer funny.

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This is how Emo Luigi likes to see himself.

Effect on Personal Life

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It's all his fault.

When Luigi becomes emo, it has drastic effects on the Super Mario Bros. Plumbing business. One day, in 1997, Mario and Luigi were called to fix a problem with the great toilet of Robotnik. When they arrived, they discovered that Robotnik's toilet had been clogged up with something nasty. As Mario attempted to use a plunger to fix it, Luigi watched closely. Then it happened. The plunger broke in half, and the bottom segment went down the drain. Luigi attempted to save it, but he was too late. He ran out of Robotnik's Fortress, and was found a few hours later next to a dustbin in Florida.

Luigi spent the next few months thinking about the plunger, thinking that it's loss was all his fault. On Novermber 18th of that year, Luigi attempted to slit his wrist with the sharp side of a yoshi egg. Unfortunately for him, the lightbulb exploded, and Luigi spent a few hours crying in the darkness. Eventually, Mario came in to fix the light bulb, whilst Luigi wrote a poem about how much he missed the old lightbulb.

He now believes that he is to blame for everything that has ever happened, including the crucifixion of Jesus Christ, World War II, & AIDS.

Suicide Attempts

Luigi has attempted to commit suicide on over 9000 occasions:

  • March 1996 - Hanging. Failed due to lack of rope.
  • May 1996 - Hanging. Failed as he forgot to tie the rope to anything.
  • August 1996 - Jumping off a building. Failed due to the fact he landed on his feet.
  • December 1996 - Gas. Success, but he was later brought back to life by the magical Bumble Bee.
  • March 1997 - Hanging. Failed due to lack of rope, again.
  • November 1997 - Slitting Wrist. Failed due to power failure.
  • December 1997 - Electrocution. Failed due to power cut.
  • Febuary 1997 - Jumping off a building. Failed as the building was actually a small garage.
  • May 1998 - Slitting Wrist. Failed due to the fact condoms cant cut your wrist.
  • May 1999 - Suffocation. Failed as the condom was too small.
  • May 2000 - STD. Failed because he forgot to take the condom off.
  • August 2002 - Drug Overdose. Success. Unfortunately, medics came and revived him.
  • March 2004 - Deliberate overdose on bacon. Success. Unfortunately Fat Mario arrived to suck the fat out of him. Luigi then suffered from mixed emotions of sadness and sensation.
  • April 2005 - Tried to drown himself. Failed because he thought it was boring.
  • January 2007 - Bowel Obstruction. Failed due to the fact laxatives don't obstruct bowels.
  • June 2007 - Laid in the middle of a freeway, expecting to get run over.
  • July 2007 - Finally gave up waiting to get run over and jumped off the freeway, unfortunately landing in a passing pillow, marshmallow, and cotton swab truck. He was delivered to Wizkid837's house in Alaska.
  • October 2007 - Attempted to freeze himself in the cold, October temperatures of Alaska. He then found himself face-to-face with a Fire Sumo.
  • October 2007 - Pissed off a Fire Sumo on purpose so that it would crack the ground open below him and Luigi would fall to his death. Unfortunately he found a magic balloon.
  • October 29, 2007 - Tried to hang himself with the invisible long string from the magic balloon that he found. Failed when he found out that he not only couldn't find the string that he held, he also didn't find a perfectly suitable place for him to hang himself.
  • December 2 2007-Stabbed his stomache and the left testicle after the pooper known as Deepercutt publicly humiliated him by showing an unreleased music video of the song "Watch Me Bleed" starring Emo Luigi.
  • December 6 2007-Shot himself in the head after King Koopa killed Mario, Toad, and Peach

R.I.P. Emo Luigi....maybe....

{{#ev:youtube|etM8vQh6ANc|320}}

In the Media

With so much emo, it was inevitable that Emo Luigi would someday create his own depressing music video before one of his suicide attempts would actually work. His video, "Watch Me Bleed" (directed by Deepercutt), is shown on the right.

Notable Things Which Turned Luigi Emo

Quotes

  • "IT'S ALL MY FAULT!!!"
  • "WHERE'S THE LIGHTSWITCH" (Said shortly after suicide attempt No. 6)
  • "I SWEAR I DIDNT DO IT!" (Said after he got Princess Peach pregnant with emo babies)
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