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Vince Offer
This article is filed under Characters.Vince Offer is an actor, director, and comedian turned television salesman dressed (almost) like a Scout. He is well known for his advertisements for his products, Sham-Wow! and the Slap Chop. Was also apparently born in Israel.
About
Vince's earliest activities can be traced back to his service in the border patrol in the mid-to-late ninties. After a particularly nasty shootout involving illicit drug-trafficking and children in pajamas, Vince took to Florida and joined film school, where he spent several years directing independent snuff films. When his film group was finally busted, he fled, changing his name and identity, and undergoing extensive plastic surgery. It was in 2003 that he first delved into the world show-business.
He is now a pitchman, most widly known for pandering off the numerous qualities of the legendary ShamWow! towel line (which is made in Germany, which always makes good stuff) and the Slap Chop kitchen appliance.
He is no longer a threat to Billy Mays as having been arrested for beating up a prostitute in early 2009. However, on June 28th, 2009, Billy Mays passed away at the age of fifty. It is speculated that Vince himself will have to take his place as front-runner pitchman, as the British Cillit Bang guy is nowhere to be found (presumably dead or hiding somewhere in Montana).
The motherfucker also participated in a song remix of his Slap Chop commercial with (DJ) Steve Porter. Making the music not only helped him make a comeback, but also get his revenge on Billy Mays for the hooker incident. For two months in 2004, he served as a military scout and gunman for the United States Army.
Quotes
- "You're gonna love my nuts."
- "You'll be saying "wow" every time."
- "You followin' me cameraguy?"
- "Wow... Wet."
- "You know the Germans make good stuff."
- "This lasts ten years, this lasts a week!"
- "Hi, it's Vince with ShamWow!"
- "Hi, it's Vince with the Slap Chop."
- "Stop having a boring tuna; stop having a boring life."
- "Forget about it."
- "You're gonna love this."
Official Websites For His Stuff. (Also, Sources!)
The Official Place To Get Your ShamWow!
The Official Place To Get Your Slap Chop!
