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Heavy Weapons Guy
From Chewiki Archive - YouChew:
1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
This article is filed under Characters.Heavy Weapons Guy is a fat, bald, maniacal Slavic man. He usually gets pissed when sombody touches his lover/gun/masturbatory aid, Sasha. He has yet to meet someone who can outsmart a bullet and enjoys massacaring thousands of people. In and out of battles he pays hookers to let him beat them up.
Cultural Heritage: Russian
Quotes
- Oh my god, who touched Sasha? Alright... WHO TOUCHED MY GUN!?
- I am heavy weapons guy. AND THIS, is my weapon.
- Some people think they can outsmart me....maybe *sniff* maybe.... I have yet meet one that can outsmart BULLET.
- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA CRY SOME MORE
- MEDIC
- It costs 400,000 dollars to fire this weapon...for 12 seconds.
- MEDIIIIC
- DOCTAR
- I LOVE THIS DOCTAR!
- OM NOM NOM OM NOM
Trivia
- Is having an affair with Natasha
- It is rumored that he may be in a relationship with the Soldier.
- It is confirmed that he has a grandson, which is the main character of Quake 2.
- Had a threesome with Sasha and BULLET at the same time. He humped Sasha while having BULLET shoved up his ass.
- Robbed a Mcdonalds once
- SASHA AND HIM HAVE SEX
- Sasha was also raped by the Scout when he took her out for a steak dinner.
- Leon, one of the Heavy's rivals, knows a way to outsmart his bullet, though he believes it's a lie.
- Is sometimes called the Heavy.
- Has a Medic fetish.Error creating thumbnail: File missingHeavy Weapons Guy laughing at the clowns in a circus.
- Has yet to meet one who can outsmart bullshit
- Was once killed by Gordon Freeman
