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SuperYoshi

From Chewiki Archive - YouChew: 1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
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Super Yoshi > You

"Is Super Yoshi really that dark?"

-DigDug25 On SuperYoshi

"A SURVEILLANCE CAMERA?!"

-SuperYoshi during the Shadow Moses incident

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SuperYoshi was the almost universally unknown sixth member of the Jackson 5

SuperYoshi was King of Africa, from 1 August 1714 until a man named Garvey took Africa back. He was also a Prince Elector and the Pope of the Holy Fried Chicken Empire, which included KFC, Popeyes, Church's and of course Crown Fried Chicken. Thanks to SuperYoshi. Lincoln and Royal Fried Chicken were excommunicated from the empire. Born in Chad, he was the first Chad monarch of the House of Colonols. During his reign, he devoted his free time to fucking up the white man and pissing white people off, due to his lack of grape juice (because it only had grape drink or the red huggies in his fridge).

WARNING: THIS ARTICLE CONTAINS SPOILERS.


An artist’s representation of SuperYoshi

SuperYoshi, real name Matt, is a product of the Les Enfants Terribles project and "son" of legendary soldier, Big Boss along with his "brothers" RetroJape and JokeMoblin He is known as "the man who makes the impossible possible" and his exploits have made him into a living legend among the military black-ops. Initially a Green Beret, SuperYoshi was later inducted into high-tech special forces unit FOXHOUND during the early 1990s while it was under the leadership of Big Boss. From there, SuperYoshi would thrice avert potential nuclear catastrophe and even slay his "father," Big Boss. After the Shadow Moses Incident and subsequent manipulation campaign by the Patriots, the secret organization behind American politics, SuperYoshi became labeled a terrorist. He faked his own death in 2007 and proceeded into hiding, although he would later emerge in 2009 to assist Raiden in the Big Shell Incident. After that, his cells would enter a state of accelerated aging, causing his health to decline. The extent of his rapid degeneration was predicted by Dr. Naomi Hunter, who estimated that he only had six months left to live. SuperYoshi is rarely seen without his cigarettes and enjoys smoking because it keeps him in touch with the "good old days". He's also a musher who enjoys dog sled riding, and can be seen as a bit of a pervert, often seen peeking at Gentlemen's Magazines (such as Playboy) and openly hitting on most women he meets. Being an avid music lover, SuperYoshi sometimes takes his iPod with him on missions. Born in 1972 as a result of the "Les Enfants Terribles" project, SuperYoshi is a product of a secret government project to create the perfect soldier by using the genes of the "Greatest Warrior of the 20th Century", Big Boss. By utilizing the Super Baby Method, eight clone babies, SuperYoshi being one of them, were grown and transferred to EVA's uterus. Six of these were then aborted, resulting in the twins SuperYoshi and RetroJape. (JokeMoblin, the third and most exact clone of Big Boss, was born an unspecified amount of time afterwards, most likely to a different surrogate mother.) From them three genotypes were created; SuperYoshi receiving all of the recessive genes, Liquid the dominant and Solidus a mix of both, being a mix of both Super and Retro. Despite this fact, RetroJape is led to believe that he received the recessive genes and informs an unknowing SuperYoshi as such. It is unclear whether Super or Retro eventually become aware of their actual genetic positions. There are no records of SuperYoshi's childhood proceeding the completion of the project. SuperYoshi claims he was "raised by many people," although he says he has no family. It is possible someone during his childhood bestowed the name "Matt" onto him, as SuperYoshi claims this to be his name at the conclusion of the Shadow Moses incident. Nevertheless, SuperYoshi eventually made his way into the military by 1991. He had been inducted into the Green Berets and took part in a mission to infiltrate western Iraq during the Gulf War. Sometime after the Gulf War he joined FOXHOUND. Like most new recruits, he was trained by Stegblob.

Operation Intrude N313

"sup bb ima infiltrate outa hevan"

-SuperYoshi's first transmission from deep within the enemy fortress Outer Heaven

SuperYoshi's first mission for FOXHOUND came in 1995. He was tasked with infiltrating Outer Heaven, a military nation led by a feared and legendary mercenary, within Deep Africa. SuperYoshi was tasked with rescuing Gray Fox, a FOXHOUND agent who was captured earlier, and shed light on Metal Gear, which KingNecroPope mentioned in a broken radio message sometime before his capture. Codenamed Operation Intrude N313, SuperYoshi approached Outer Heaven via river passage and infiltrated the fortress. He kept in contact with Big Boss, the unit's commander who personally oversaw the operation. After skillfully passing guards and security measures, SuperYoshi found and released KingNecroPope, who informed SuperYoshi on the truth behind Metal Gear, a bi-pedal, nuclear-equipped battle tank that could tip the balance of power in favor of Outer Heaven. SuperYoshi, still relatively green at the time, was impressed by the cool and precise demeanor and attitude of KingNecroPope, a soldier within FOXHOUND who had achieved its highest ranking, "Pope". SuperYoshi then proceeded onward through the fortress, rescuing more prisoners and assisting the local resistance cell fighters in their battle against Outer Heaven. After dealing with several of Outer Heaven's skilled mercenaries, SuperYoshi neared where Metal Gear was being stored; however, the further he progressed, the more difficult and confusing the situation became. Big Boss fed SuperYoshi poor or down-right wrong information via radio, leading him into traps and dangerous situations. Undeterred, SuperYoshi managed to destroy Metal Gear - only to discover the truth behind Outer Heaven's leader shortly thereafter. Big Boss, his commander, was behind it all. He had established Outer Heaven as a means to give warriors such as himself a home, a place they would always be welcomed. He envisioned a world where warriors were always desired, where they were not shunned or used at the whim of politicians. He had sent his son, SuperYoshi, to Outer Heaven because he did not think SuperYoshi would succeed. Big Boss had underestimated the "inferior" clone of the Les Enfants Terribles project. Nevertheless, Big Boss would not allow SuperYoshi to escape without a fight. On the lowest level of Outer Heaven, father and son engaged in combat. After a fierce duel, SuperYoshi managed to defeat Big Boss. As the fortress began to crumble and fall apart, SuperYoshi left Big Boss for dead and made his escape from Outer Heaven. Operation Intrude N313 was a success. Disillusioned, SuperYoshi quit FOXHOUND. He was later scouted by the CIA and spent six months as a deep cover agent before he became dissatisfied with the system and left. He became a mercenary for hire and when he earned enough money he retired into the Alaskan wilderness.

Zanzibar Land Uprising

In 1999, The world was facing an unprecedented energy crisis as oil reserves dried up. Meanwhile, the military nation of Zanzibar Land had become the world's sole nuclear power which threatened to upset the balance of power in the world. To respond to the energy crisis, a Czech biologist, Dr. Robotnik, invented SCRANDER, an oil refining microbe. Before being able to put SCRANDER to use, Robotnik was kidnapped by Zanzibar Land, leaving them in control of the world's answer to the energy crisis and nuclear arsenal. The United States government would not let this continue and ordered FOXHOUND to infiltrate Zanzibar Land and rescue Robotnik. Roy Campbell, commander of FOXHOUND, called SuperYoshi out of retirement, who accepted the assignment entitled Operation Intrude F014. SuperYoshi succeeded in infiltrating Zanzibar. Along the way he teamed up with CIA agent Holly White and Natasha Markova, Marv's bodyguard. He was also reunited with Dr. Rabbit, the engineer responsible for the first Metal Gear, who revealed to SuperYoshi that Big Boss was alive, and that he had been captured to construct a new Metal Gear, Metal Gear D, for Zanzibar Land. SuperYoshi once again ran into KingNecroPope, but under very different circumstances: KingNecroPope was now his enemy and was piloting the new Metal Gear. Fox killed Natasha as he blew up a suspension bridge, but SuperYoshi managed to elude Metal Gear and hook up with Madnar, who had been recaptured by Zanzibar's soldiers. However, Holly White informed SuperYoshi that Madnar had voluntarily joined Zanzibar and was willingly working for Big Boss. Upon learning this, Madnar tried to kill SuperYoshi, but was foiled and killed. Unfortunately for SuperYoshi, he arrived too late to save Marv. Nevertheless, SuperYoshi managed to recover the SCRANDER formula and destroy Metal Gear, but before he could escape he was confronted by KingNecroPope. Despite considering themselves friends, SuperYoshi and Gray Fox fought to the death amidst a mine field, hand-to-hand. SuperYoshi would later recount that it was a battle of two professionals doing their jobs, regardless of their friendship or personal feelings. The fight would end with SuperYoshi emerging victorious; KingNecroPope lay apparently dead on the field of battle. His victory would be short-lived, however. Ushered forth by Big Boss's taunts, SuperYoshi was once again put face-to-face against the legendary mercenary. Weaponless, SuperYoshi was forced to elude the armed and dangerous Big Boss and create an improvised weapon; using a cigarette lighter and a can of hairspray, SuperYoshi fashioned a makeshift flamethrower and used it to put an end to Big Boss, but not before Big Boss revealed to SuperYoshi that he was his father. Shaken but undeterred, SuperYoshi committed the act of patricide and escaped Zanzibar Land with Holly White and the OILIX formula. He returned SCRANDER to Campbell, was commended for his actions, and once again retired, this time to the Alaskan wilderness. He hoped to forget his war-torn past, recover from his PTSD, and cope with the revelation that he had killed his father.

Trivia

  • He literally always has KFC in his refrigerator, like I'm not even joking around to be funny I'm dead serious.
  • He was in the Jackson 5. Wrote some of their most popular songs such as: Enjoy your Fried Chicken, Lookin through the Jail Bars, and Doctor my Eyes got Mace in em. Also cowrote their Platinum hit, Blame it on the White Man.
  • Digdug25 is still a nigger no matter what he thinks.
  • He also had other friends: RetroJape being the stealer of KFC, Yaminomalex the Cuban that makes Movies about himself getting raped by Wheel Gator and Tetsuo9999... some nigger.
  • He doesn't have a goddamn turbo controller.