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Shadow the Hedgehog

From Chewiki Archive - YouChew: 1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
CharNice.jpg This article is filed under Characters.
Shadow in all his badass, angsty glory.

WHO THE F*** IS HE?

Shadow is a black and red hedgehog, created by Professor Gerald as the ultimate lifeform. He enjoys shooting things, riding motorcycles,whining about some girl named "MARIAAAAAAAAA", running around carnivals trying to find "that damn fourth Chaos Emerald", sending people straight to hell, and skating with his shoes. He does not enjoy fanart of him banging Sonic or Rouge, Sonic, retarded fangirls, Mudkips (sadly), and having to shoot kittens when someone browses for porn on the web. He is a stupid character and all, and HOW CAN SOMEONE NOT LIEK MUDKIPS?!!?8(

Reception

Shadow is the most hated character of the Sonic series, but at the same time the most badass. Apparantly he is "ZOMG EM0 CUTTR", whiny bitch, and the reason for Sonic's downfall. A lot of his fans however, are annoying as hell too. Mostly consisting of preteen rabid fangirls, making this author ashamed to be called a Shadow fan.:(

Love Life??

Many fans beleive that Shadow is in love with Rouge the Bat. Others say he's in love with Sonic. Rumors have been flying around that he has some sort of relationship with Knuckles the Echidna. There have been reports of sightings of them "doing stuff". Shadow is also raped by a mini version of Knuckles on a regular basis. Whether he enjoys it or not is still up for debate.Knuckles once banged Shadow to impress Rouge (she stated that she thought gay guys were pretty sexy). He did so for 30 minutes, so either he was really that desperate or he enjoyed doing it. Also, in a Poop currently in the making by Ruthie312, Knuckles tells him that "he's always wanted to f***" Shadow , and Shadow replies with "As you wish!" An odd relationship, indeed.

Quotes

  • I am Shadow the Hedgehog. I've left the past behind me. No one can tell me what to do now! I will destroy you, Black Doom!
  • You have no control over me, Black Doom. I now understand why I am here. I made a promise and I'm here to keep it. Today, I put my past behind me.
  • Goodbye forever... Shadow the Hedgehog.
  • Where's that DAMN! fourth Chaos Emerald?
  • Goodbye, doctor.
  • Not you again.
  • You scum! You're going down!
  • Black Doom! Your reign ends here, and it ends NOW!
  • Damn, Not here.
  • Damn it.
  • Chaos Spear.
  • We really do look alike. It's uncanny.
  • You traitor!
  • As you wish.
  • CHAOS...BLAST!

Likes

Dislikes

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The Demoman looking at Shamolly porn.

Trivia

  • Sonic is better than Shadow - FACT.
  • He's cooler than that faggot Silver.
  • He's less cooler than Robotnik.
  • HIS DAD IS AN AN EVIL ALIEN LEADER LOL WHUT.
  • He had to find and rescue Mama Luigi from one of Black Doom's seven Chaos Emeralds, but still can't find her. :(
  • He WILL NOT bring sexy back.
  • His long lost evil crystal twin from 10 years ago killed Sonic,Something Robothead could not do his whole life.
  • He is a faggot.
  • The time he will be cool is that he will listen to Metallica.
  • Doesn't think that Broly is the Ultimate Life Form.
  • He Keeps losing his ipod.
  • Always has bad luck with women(when he is around them,they get killed).
  • He really is an emo due to no happiness and almost monotone voice.
  • Likes kicking White Hedgehog in the head.
  • Like his some-what Brothers or something like that,Shadow Can go Super with the power of the Super AIDS to gain more powerful(Yet like the others Overuse-Death).
  • Lost a race to Rock Lee.
  • Got stepped on by Wiul when Wiul was going for a jog.