Morshu

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You want it?

The man who is found in one of the Legend of Zelda CD-i games. His real name is Morshu Hundenbilg, but prefers to be called "Malfunctioning Bubba", in rememberence to is college years. Also mistaken for Tim Wonnacott.

He is known for selling lamp oil, rope, and bombs, among other "things". He also acts like a jerk to people who aren't rich enough to buy things. All payments for his wares must be made up front, since he can't give credit. He has a secret food stash in his shop. He doesn't sell the food so he can eat it himself. hence his large size. He was also the lead singer of The Cure for two months, although there is no record of this. He also is addicted to boobies.

Cultural Heritage: Germany

History

Morshu's parents, Franz and Eidelwiess Hundinbilg, immigrated to Koridai in 1936. Three years later, Edielwiess hundinberg gave birth to Morshu's older brother, Shastock. Shastock, however, had complications with the Spanish flu, and died due to an overdose of penicillin at 30 years old.

Trying to start a family again (Franz and Eidelwiess were only 12 when they were married, as per Gamelon custom), they then gave birth to Morshu. Morshu early in his life showed a great capacity for wild hand gesticulations and dramatic close-ups. Seeing the potential, his parents put Morshu in an apprenticeship with the then-leading merchant of Koridai, Goronu.

Morshu, however, soon grew so great in shop-keeping prowess, that he overcame Goronu, who grew exceedingly jealous of Morshu's skills. Goronu soon came to Ganon, whom he traded his soul for the ultimate shop-keeping powers. Using his newfound strength, Goronu soon attacked Morshu's shop in an attempt to rid himself of the troublesome pupil. However, on the way, Goronu got jock itch, and had to leave in order to deal with the tremendous pain. Morshu, seeing his oppurtunity, opened up a chain of stores in Goronu's absence, becoming the third wealthiest man in Koridai (behind Harlequin and Gwonam).

With his newfound wealth, Morshu continually lead an opulent lifestyle, feasting refularly on Arpagos eggs (which make great ommelettes) and pure fat. He also gained even more income refularly supplying the one thing The King always strived for: Child pornography.

Unfortunately for Morshu, the KBG, upon finding Morshu directly linked to the child pornography ring in Koridai, descended upon Morshu and was able to foreclose most of his chain stores. To compund to his problems, Goronu recovered from jock itch, and was "itching" for revenge. Morshu, faced with so many problems, had to declare bankruptcy and foreclose on all of his properties.

By the time Link reaches Koridai, Morshu is a shadow of his former self. Only controlling the market on Lamp Oil, Rope, Bombs, et all, he is in a dire state, so much that he is no longer able to give credit, due to Goronu's strong-men continually harassing him. He says that Link must pay full-price for all goods, but he really is willing to take anything, any contribution Link offers.

Upon the defeat of Goronu by Link, Morshu is able to open a parlor on the side to earn a little bit of extra income. It turns to be a great success only after making the parlor an underground meeting-place for Gwonam's drug cartels. Morshu cries himself to sleep every night.

Morshu finally passed away in 1997 due to heart problems contracted from cholosterol problems. He is survived by 16 children out of wedlock.

Also Known as

• Shopkeep
• Shopkeeper
• Goronu, due to a mistake
• Fat Man
• Dumbass
• IAMSHOPKEEPER

BOMBS!? You want it?