Sonic the Hedgehog

This article is filed under Characters.

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Real Sonic.

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THAT'S NO GOOD!

Sonic is the mascot for SEGA : an exceptionally BAD gaming corporation. He hasn't eaten a single decent sword since 10 A.D. Despite this all too true fact, SuperYoshi has stated on various occasions that Sonic is his favorite actor to work with. Sonic is also a lot cooler and eats less swords than those pussies Shadow and Silver. I hate them so much.

Biography

Sonic the Hedgehog was born and raised in West Philadelphia until when a couple of badniks, they were up to no good, and started making trouble in Green Hill. He got in one little fight and Amy got scared and said "You're moving with you're auntie and uncle in Scrap Brain." He whistled for a cab and when it came near, he gave it the middle finger. If anything, he could have said that this cab was Tails, so he went "THAT'S NO GOOD." He pulled up to Metropolis Zone at approximately 7 or 8 to claim his throne as the prince of the video game industry.

Crimes

Is believed to have assassinated John Lennon. What a fag.

Quotes

• EXACTLY!
• LET'S SHIT!
• Your smile MUST DIE!
• You won't find Adobe here in Nairobi!
• That's good.
• GET READY TO CHEW MY BALLS
• You're too slow!
• COM'ON STEP IT UP FUCKERS!
• Sex. Now outta my way!

People who like him

• Lots of people

Sonic before Sonic Shuffle

Likes

Freedom Tails Himself Relaxing You Knuckles Being a DJ Lots of people (EXCEPT Amy Rose and Robotnik

Hates

Water Swimming Amy Rose Robotnik Lots of things he hates Silver LOL LOL!!!!

People who hate him

Sonic believes he is cool and popular, but there are actually quite a bit of people who have expressed disdain for him. Among those who have said they "hate that hedgehog":

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• Robotnik
• Deedee from Dexter's Laboratory
• Launchpad McQuack
• Shredder
• The Brain
• Nigel Uno
• Blightcopy
• Grouchy Smurf
• Ozu
• Mr. Grumpy (duh!)
• Mr. Clean

Trivia

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• He loves tumble dryers (see video at right).
• Has a giant ego.
• He is a pyromaniac.(BURN BABY BURN,BURN TO THE GROUND!!!)
• Believes that there's fire were there's smoke.
• He's trapped in there.
• He had a reputation of helping kids learn things about life in a short segment called Sonic Sez, although after an absurd confession to Tails (see above) he lost it and decided to instead teach people about how sex and drugs are cool. Sonic Sez is now the most viewed show in the world, topping all of the existing charts, and being downloaded by millions every minute.
• He is a pervert. (yet again, see the other video)
• Has the power to go Super with the help of Super AIDS,he is only one of three which can protect getting killed by it(But using it too much can kill him)
• He had an car accident in 1992 and his vocal chords had to be replaced. Without anything else, the doctors gave the vocal chords of a local black kid to him.
• Has a brother called Awesome Possum.
• He can play guitar. If you're lucky he'll show you his Eddie Van Hedgehog impression.
• He was actually quite cool until 1998 when he got redesigned by Yuji Uekawa (look it up) and now looks like a retard.
• He has a partnership with Tex Avery.
• He Raped Tails
• Did he put a tube in his mouth ?mao?
• Spends All day in his house then he went for a 'drink' which turned to 5 and then 10 now hes drunk and he wont be able to play Sonic Unleashed properly