Sonic the Hedgehog

This article is filed under Characters.

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Real Sonic.

THAT'S NO GOOD!

Sonic is the mascot for SEGA : an exceptionally BAD gaming corporation. He hasn't eaten a single decent sword since 10 A.D. Despite this all too true fact, SuperYoshi has stated on various occasions that Sonic is his favorite actor to work with. Sonic is also a lot cooler and eats less swords than those pussies Shadow and Silver. I hate them so much.

Biography

Sonic the Hedgehog was born and raised in West Philadelphia until when a couple of badniks, they were up to no good, and started making trouble in Green Hill. He got in one little fight and Amy got scared and said "You're moving with you're auntie and uncle in Scrap Brain." He whistled for a cab and when it came near, he gave it the middle finger. If anything, he could have said that this cab was Tails, so he went "THAT'S NO GOOD." He pulled up to Metropolis Zone at approximately 7 or 8 to claim his throne as the prince of the video game industry.

Filmography

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Gay Sonic.

• Sonic The Porcupine
• Sonic Rubber
• Sonic Sea Dee
• Sonic Jew
• Sonic Pee
• Sonic Mayhem
• NintendoSonic The Porcupine
• Sonic Failball
• Sonic Draft
• Sonic and Anal Fisting
• Sonic Pee and Twinkles
• Sonic Ripple Shuffle
• Sonic Draft Beering
• Sonic Casino
• Sonic Maze Game
• Sonic Not Really 3D: Flakey's LOST Island
• Sonic Strawberry Jam
• Sonic Sexual Adventure
• Sonic Not So Advanced
• Sonic Pocket Sexual Adventure
• Sonic Not So Advanced 2
• Sonic Failball Party
• Sonic Not So Advanced Pee
• Sonic Rushed Game
• Sonic Sexual Adventure : Jews
• Sonic Elemental Heroes
• Sonic and the Red Rings of Doom
• Sonic and the Homosexual Rings
• Sonic Rushed Adventure
• Sonic the Hedgehog vs Sonic the Asshole
• Mario and Sonic Have Sex at the Olympics
• Zuper Zmash Niggers Spawrl
• Sonic Likes to do the moon
• Sonic and the secret seizure
• Sonic Fuck Me Gee
• Every single SuperYoshi ,TantricNferno, Stegblob, TheDumbening, and RetroJape video

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People who like him

...

People who hate him

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Sonic believes he is cool and popular, but there are actually quite a bit of people who have expressed disdain for him. Among those who have said they "hate that hedgehog":

• Robotnik
• Deedee from Dexter's Laboratory
• Launchpad McQuack
• The Brain
• Nigel Uno
• Blightcopy
• Grouchy Smurf

Trivia

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• He loves tumble dryers (see video at right).
• He is a pyromaniac.(BURN BABY BURN,BURN TO THE GROUND!!!)
• Believes that there's fire were there's smoke.
• He had a reputation of helping kids learn things about life in a short segment called Sonic Sez, although after an absurd confession to Tails (see above) he lost it and decided to instead teach people about how sex and drugs are cool. Sonic Sez is now the most viewed show in the world, topping all of the existing charts, and being downloaded by millions every minute.
• He is a pervert. (yet again, see the other video)
• Has the power to go Super with the help of Super AIDS,he is only one of three which can protect getting killed by it(But using it too much can kill him)
• He had an car accident in 1992 and his vocal chords had to be replaced. Without anything else, the doctors gave the vocal chords of a local black kid to him.
• Has a brother called Awesome Possum.
• He can play guitar. If you're lucky he'll show you his Eddie Van Hedgehog impression.
• He was actually quite cool until 1998 when he got redesigned by Yuji Uekawa (look it up) and now looks like a retard.
• He has a partnership with Tex Avery.
• Sonic's last decent video game was Sonic Adventure. Everything afterward's quality ranges from "Shit" to "Unplayable", with the possible exception of Sonic Rush.