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Difference between revisions of "Sean Connery"
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Sean Connery is a retired scottish actor born on the 25th of August 1930. As an actor he achieved fame as the first [[James Bond]], as Indiana Jones's dad, and as a [[Elmer Fudd|hunter]] of Red October, a Brutal Exterminator for the Eternals, a Green Knight, an Extraordinary Gentlemen, an Untouchable and a Good Man in Africa. Following his retirement, he discovered an unkindled and passionate love for shotgunning pedophiles wherever they may lurk, and these days he can always be spotted pointing his barrel up the noses of suspected diddlers. He has turned down future movie roles claiming "retirement is too much damn fun" and it can be inferred that this is the reason why. As a callback to his [[James Bond]] days, whenever he zeroes in on his next target, he leaves them with "shome parting wordsh", which is always followed by his new catchphrase, "kablamo...". | Sean Connery is a retired scottish actor born on the 25th of August 1930. As an actor he achieved fame as the first [[James Bond]], as Indiana Jones's dad, and as a [[Elmer Fudd|hunter]] of Red October, a Brutal Exterminator for the Eternals, a Green Knight, an Extraordinary Gentlemen, an Untouchable and a Good Man in Africa. Following his retirement, he discovered an unkindled and passionate love for shotgunning pedophiles wherever they may lurk, and these days he can always be spotted pointing his barrel up the noses of suspected diddlers. He has turned down future movie roles claiming "retirement is too much damn fun" and it can be inferred that this is the reason why. As a callback to his [[James Bond]] days, whenever he zeroes in on his next target, he leaves them with "shome parting wordsh", which is always followed by his new catchphrase, "kablamo...". | ||
Revision as of 17:24, 2 November 2019
This article is filed under Characters.Sean Connery is a retired scottish actor born on the 25th of August 1930. As an actor he achieved fame as the first James Bond, as Indiana Jones's dad, and as a hunter of Red October, a Brutal Exterminator for the Eternals, a Green Knight, an Extraordinary Gentlemen, an Untouchable and a Good Man in Africa. Following his retirement, he discovered an unkindled and passionate love for shotgunning pedophiles wherever they may lurk, and these days he can always be spotted pointing his barrel up the noses of suspected diddlers. He has turned down future movie roles claiming "retirement is too much damn fun" and it can be inferred that this is the reason why. As a callback to his James Bond days, whenever he zeroes in on his next target, he leaves them with "shome parting wordsh", which is always followed by his new catchphrase, "kablamo...".
His Victims
- a certain former moderator of Youchew
- MORE TO COME
Trivia
- the lore of Sean Connery began entirely as one long hilarious series of in-jokes brainchilded by the post-Youchew community in the collective discord chat, all stemming from the above image being one of the server's custom emotes. It is considered one of the greatest latter-day cultural inventions of the community, and the best following the closure of the forums.
- a non-serious trading card was created for this reimagining of the character, slating him as a hypothetical Card #102.
- has long since existed as a photoshop created on a longer-running imageboard site, but as artists copy and geniuses steal, the post-Youchew community remain definitively geniuses.
- is doing pretty well for himself at 89, considering this is his regular level of activity nowadays.
- WILL NEVER DIE. KABLAMO LIVES ON
