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Editing BigMarioandTailsfan

From Chewiki Archive - YouChew: 1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas

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|methods=Ear rape, stuttering, speed up, slow down, You Cut
 
|methods=Ear rape, stuttering, speed up, slow down, You Cut
 
|tech=Adobe Premiere Elements 3.0, Sony Vegas Pro 9
 
|tech=Adobe Premiere Elements 3.0, Sony Vegas Pro 9
|realname=Erik
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|realname=Steven
 
|sex=Male
 
|sex=Male
 
|nationality=USA
 
|nationality=USA
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{{vid|-inGJyDwXsU}}
 
{{vid|-inGJyDwXsU}}
===A Chronicled History===
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===History===
There once was a man who lived on a forum with a bunch of people who liked Nintendo too much. There was one soul, Revoloution98, devoid of spelling education and common sense, trapped in an endless limbo of monotony. Who is to say who is the victim or who is the villain? By the end of the year 2006 A.D (after the death of Krispy Khrist, our lord), at the dawn of unfortunate anal blending, Revoloution98, the smartest person who could never spell the word "revolution", discovered Youtube Poop on a forum about Mario, which has little but maybe some association with video editing. Needless to say, this birthed a whole new man, who, after being banned because the moderators didn't like being spoiled the ending of Snakes on a Plane, became a new entity in a world of new possibilities. After venturing into the world of video editing and time consumption, this man found clips of a game nobody likes on a system nobody cares about, but was animated by Russian sweatshop peasants, so it made for a good mascot of mediocrity. At this point, the man joined the Youtube Poop forums.
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'''BigMarioandTailsfan''', also known as '''BMATF''', '''bematef''', or '''Be Matt Fernard''', is a sort of known Youtube Pooper who started his escapades on June 28th, 2007. The following is a mixed up sort of history of what he's accomplished. Feel free to skim the pride writing, because sometimes, he is so full of himself, he just can't stop. Anyways, enjoy this big story of who cares.
  
'''Bematt''', or the artist formerly known as '''BigMarioandTailsfan''', '''BMATF''', '''Be Matt Fernard''', and sometimes '''Fred Durst''' came forth from the genesis seed in 2007, year of the prophet of maiden heavens. In this conception upon heavenly rays burst forth a being of immense confusion. Cast out beyond the shores of yonder forest, this fetal catastrophe grew into a complete being, wielding the power of a thousand Limp Bizkit solos. BigMarioandTailsfan was born from the passion of Italian cuisine and the rules of nature, the very memes of our existence, animals who roam the vast expanses of human compassion. Alas, who is to say how the journey was destined to proceed? Along the way, BigMarioandTailsfan had to climb up expanses of water, dance, and conduct colonoscopies upon bleached anuses. With a wide variety of muscular skills, BigMarioandTailsfan dropped into a world of conception, rebranding himself as the market friendly BMATF whom many still consider as the man who was once, or maybe the man who is still, but beyond it all is a solemn truth about fate.
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''Ah'', the feeling when you can write down the history of something you've done. Important? Maybe not, but nothing stops you from writing it down anyways.
  
When he ventured into the Jungles of Namamutuu, BMATF threw punches at all directions, and became a grizzled warrior, not afraid of conflict or suffering. With his powers harnessed into one enema, a bowel movement to pierce beyond the veil of distinction, BMATF became one with the YouChew forums, and also became one with [[Team Fortress 2]], a game that was really good at one point but then was outworn and outgunned. In essence, YouTube Poop brought BMATF to enlightenment on an internet forum, which in turn, just allowed him to conduct activities because he felt like it. This could go into detail but at this point people who are still reading may want to know more about the previously stated "anal blending" techniques which I have promised to anyone who reads the complete documented history of the life and times of Bematt, formerly known as '''Smut Muffin''' in some clubs and also known as '''Anime Jesus''' in some countries.
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What's my history? This loon obviously has some back story to him, right? Of course he does. Being a pooper for about two years, a history was built by events and life experience. Okay, mostly events, but you get the point.
  
('''Anal Blending''', also known as '''Butt Beating''', '''Hole Smashing''', '''Bleached Omelet''', and '''Intestinal Waveboarding''', is the act of using an egg beater to irritate the inner lining of the anus, causing an enema of intense proportions, in turn causing intense and fatal bowel movements. This technique was used, utilized, taught, lived, and breathed throughout Bematt's lifespan throughout the years, especially up to the this point! However this technique is easily abused and can cause anal time ruptures in the continuum.)
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I've built up hundreds of subscribers and pretty much over 250 videos, more than half of which have been destroyed due to banning from whoever the hell Viacom somebody. I've gone through countless accounts, most of which were alts with barely any purpose. I've given myself several different reputations, most of which are ones which give people the "what the fuck" feeling. Traveling through Youtube and the Youchew (once youtubepoop.com) for almost two years has been quite the adventure. It would be an insane thing to say that there is no history to this person, because there is. Two years worth of a history.
  
When BMATF became Bematt, it was because Nu-Metal God Fred Durst christened him as a holy spirit, sent him the DoubleSwee Demigod Emporium to learn of the ways of the world and then came home, four in the morning, and he was zoning. The importance of this all lies in the fulcrum of the events at play. Bematt was possessed by anime spirits who then helped him to realize the way beyond the simple truth. In the end, Bematt left a different man than before. This was necessary. Also, anal blending (see above). Now begins the intermission of a thousand suns.
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After doing all the stuff listed in "Finding Poop" I was just a mini man, stuck in a big world of poop. I made videos in two minutes thinking they would be masterpieces, absolutely amazing works of art. Well, it worked, but I was terribly wrong. I was still the carefree happy go lucky Revolution98. I could no longer be that person. I could never go back to that terrible forum. I had to transform. I had to become BigMarioandTailsfan.
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Who knew it took the youtubepoop.com forums to do that.
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After venturing for the lost CD-i clips from [[Izlude]], I joined the forums. It was quite empty around then, but it was nice. [[conradslater]], [[Stegblob]], KingCornholio, those guys were there. That forum changed me from the XD XP nice person I was into...well...a notorious faggot.
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If anything, using ALL CAPS and swearing all the time could've been better. I thought I was cool. Silly me.
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Then it happened one day. When we could all change our names freely. It was a riot, everyone was everyone else. conrad came on and saw it, so we had to change back. But I didn't completely. I went into the name box, and wrote not BigMarioandTailsfan, but BMATF. That was the day when BMATF was really born.
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But still, I led myself through hard times, like the Aids War, the Conrad Slater downfall, all those nice forum drama things that happened.
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When the forums changed, I was a lone wolf. I took my time to play TF2 with the other Steam junkies instead of pooping at all. I thought I was going to quit. I was going to be BMATF but not the pooper, the gamer, and never go back. Ever.
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But I did go back. Months later, I returned to pooping and forum going. I knew I couldn't neglect the thing that kept me going. I dedicated a lot of my time to the forums after that. I went through fern crises with friends to obsessions with a teenage robot to hanging out with my favorite two-tailed fox. So many things started there, most notably the Buttercup love had been revealed there, in the PPG thread which is absolutely beautiful. Of course, everyone still complains which is funny to read. I also might add that people still bug me about it, which is even more funny, because obviously the joke had an everlasting impact on their minds. All the little children I scarred for life, it's a beautiful site, I must say. Delicate.
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I had made my permanent stay.
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Pooping has been a ride, from going to shitty to decent and jumping from sources like a frog, until AOSTH and PPG led the scene. I've made many friends and many enemies as well. Not to mention that this has been a shitfest, but you know what, I wouldn't have it any other way.
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A fabulous shitfest.
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And here we are, even more shit and even more friends and even more shit! Another year after I wrote everything preceding this.
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What a damn good THREE years it has been.
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I would write another huge paragraph, but I don't feel like it. Instead, have this other shit.
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Four years, now. I'm running out of things to say. I'll just keep editing!
  
 
===Leaving YouChew===
 
===Leaving YouChew===
 
On September 4, 2012, BMATF announced his official leave from the YouChew fourms after 5 years. He stated that he may drop in from time to time or lurk a bit, but besides that, he's done. Heartfelt goodbyes were shared that day. He will be missed.
 
On September 4, 2012, BMATF announced his official leave from the YouChew fourms after 5 years. He stated that he may drop in from time to time or lurk a bit, but besides that, he's done. Heartfelt goodbyes were shared that day. He will be missed.
  
When Bematt left, worlds shifted into a whole new light. Bematt began to play video games faster than normal people would play them. He also started to love squids and anime and also put them together instead to bring both loves together simultaneously to create the ultimate being. Bematt had to leave because he has to cleanse beyond the boundaries of his being. In within himself, he found himself searching beyond troubled waters for the great Limp Bizkit in the sky.
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== Finding Youtube Poop ==
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===A Day on Nsider===
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It was a fine day. The sun was shining. Actually it wasn't, it was snowing outside. Still, it was fine. Maybe.
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On the Nintendo Nsider Shitfest Forums, I went onto the board I usually went to, the Mario board. Browsing the threads, yadda yadda, then something caught my eye. "Funny Mario Videos". Oh good! I needed some laughs to brighten up this absolutely glorious winter day. I went in, and there were lots of Youtube links. I clicked on one, and there it was, the first poop I ever saw. [[SuperYoshi]]'s "IF YOU NEED INSTRUCTIONS". I laughed so hard at it, you have no idea how funny it was to me back then. I watched the rest of them, which had stuff by SuperYoshi again and [[1upclock]]. Then, there was an "other" category, all of which were poops by dvariano. They were all absolutely hilarious, so I bookmarked his channel. I didn't even know it was Youtube Poop until much later. After the thread was deleted by the gay admins who masturbate to dog sex especially NOA_Andy I made a new thread with all of dvariano's Mario videos.
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===Searching for Poop===
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Link: The Faces of Evil. What a terrible game with terrible cutscenes. But the cutscenes were hilarious. I was on the hunt for those cutscenes, when something caught my eye. It was "Youtube Poop: That Was Swell" by giraph. I wondered, what the hell was Youtube Poop? After enjoying this lovely poop or something I searched it up. Back then it was mostly CD-i poops, and they were all funny to me. I used to watch poops every day just to get laughs. It wasn't until later that I realized dvariano's videos were poops also, and SuperYoshi's and 1upclock's stuff.
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===Making Poop===
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It was June 26th, 2007. I was on Youtube. I was watching Calculate900's videos with such interest my eyes were gleaming. One video caught my eye, it was "WMM Tutorial" or something. I watched it, and I cheered. It told me how to make poops! What an exciting day. I realized I had WMM and opened it up, and downloaded the CD-i clips I needed. I threw together a terrible piece of shit and uploaded it anyways to a new account. Big Mario and Tails fan.  
  
==Entr'acte==
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Months later, thanks to the inspiration of [[Misselaineous10]], I bought Adobe Premiere Elements 3.0, and have been using that ever since.
  
Anime swag, I'm flying like Goku
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Quite a nice program, I must say.
Anime swag when I pull up in that old school
 
Anime, drop pants; anime, wrist and chains; anime,
 
and everything; anime.
 
Gucci skin; anime, my backpack; anime,
 
That h-pop with glock cut that's anime,
 
Oh my god anyway, I'm ballin' up that avenue,
 
Anime swag, and I'm throwing money at the roof.
 
Anime everything, anime Beiber chain,
 
Harombom platinum dongs with the aramow,
 
All that every day, anyway, I'm anime.
 
May I ask what you niggas pay,
 
Smokin' up a pound a day.
 
Everything, everyday, everything; anime.
 
Lookin' at a nigga fleshed up like anime,
 
Lookin' like death note, chop it till your down throat,
 
S.O.D. money get gang like lipo.
 
All light white coat, anime dad dog.
 
Yeah I'm anime, swagged up like: yeah dog.
 
Saw four dogs in the rows when I rode through,
 
Rolls Royce black, and I'm looking like Goku.
 
  
-''Soulja Boy''
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===Banned===
  
My current life condensed into poetic justice.
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At the end of February 2008, I got on, and to my displeasure, my account was suspended. Fuck. 310 subscribers, 120 videos, subscriptions and friends galore, effort, hardwork, blood and semen, all gone. Copyright Infringement gay shit. Terms of Use Violation is what they called it. But I had a backup alt, and then I used it to my advantage. After reuploading all the shit worth reuploading, I started making new poops. This account has succeeded my original, but the original still lives on in my heart. Those 120 videos are never coming back. Or, most of them, at least.
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I currently make, well, whatever the hell I want.  
  
 
{{vid|LMEBczr4ouk}}
 
{{vid|LMEBczr4ouk}}
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===Dislikes===
 
===Dislikes===
 
<!-- sources and methods or even fellow poopers here-->
 
<!-- sources and methods or even fellow poopers here-->
*[[CD-I]], the console, panned by critics and gamers alike
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*[[CD-I]], boring an unoriginal most of the time, even people who attempt to be original fail most of the damn time.
*[[Sonic X]], written by monkeys
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*People who hate ferns. YOU COLD HEARTED BASTARDS.
*Anal blending abuse (see above)
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*Extreme Slow-mo. I really don't need to go into depth on this one. Seriously. Come on, EXTREME slow-mo? Who's going to watch shit with that?
*MS PAINT JOB (the most painful sexual experience)
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*MS PAINT JOB. Once again, don't need to go in depth on this one. People fail at paint. Srsly.
*McChicken
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*Chicken. I just hate it.
*Those who doubt the Durst
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*You. Welcome to your world.
 
*Stupid people. Examples include:
 
*Stupid people. Examples include:
**Greg Kinnear
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**People who have no idea what they are talking about
***Neo-Nazis
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***Extreme crazed defensive fans
****Genital Warts
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****People who compare Furries to Gay Rights
*****/a/
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*****Trolls who try to troll 4chan for some reason
******The cops
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******Myself
*******Andy (from Woody's Got Wood)
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*******[[Gay Luigi]]
********Chris X
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********Straight Mario
*********Chris motherfucking Thorndyke X III
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*********Asexual Wario
  
 
{{vid|W3F2TInKv5M}}
 
{{vid|W3F2TInKv5M}}
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<!-- Common mistakes made by this pooper, recurring negative youtube comments and self confessed annoyances-->
 
<!-- Common mistakes made by this pooper, recurring negative youtube comments and self confessed annoyances-->
  
*The Electric Cheese said something and I think it hurt my feelings
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*The biggest smack in the face comment I ever got was on my video, GO OUT WITH A BANG! On Dailymotion, The Electric Cheese said it sucked, like, a year ago but I don't give a fuck anymore. It did suck. And so I still agree.
*Poor people who accidentally found my videos and cried actual tears in real life
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*Other comments were either people who didn't know what YTP was, the YTP hater clones, or people who hate Ear Rape.
*I criticize myself for not doing anything
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*I hate most of my poops due to my low self-esteem, and I can't make shit anymore. This was like a month ago though!
*Because of Buttercup and Cosmo people think I like to jizz in plants to water them and then I capture children and then put them into the plants and the plants put into shoes and the children in shoes thrown around at you and then the shoes come off at you and then I whoop your ass.
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*There are many people who hated me because of my Buttercup thing. And thus I have been cursed forever more! It's not like I was joking or anything. I mean, remember when I was totally serious about wanting to fuck Cosmo, that plant from Sonic X? Yeah, I was 100% serious about that. It's so serious you could ask the Joker himself and he'd tell you that "It's so fucking serious." Not even kidding.
  
 
===Achievements===
 
===Achievements===
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* Buttercup is my favorite PPG.
 
* Buttercup is my favorite PPG.
 
* I own the sun which nobody has realized is really Robotnik on fire.
 
* I own the sun which nobody has realized is really Robotnik on fire.
* I am bizarro loco like Koko
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* I am really really strange.
* My name is Erik and I have extremities
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* My name is Steven.
 
* Is gay. (according to stegblob who is also gay)
 
* Is gay. (according to stegblob who is also gay)
 
**This statement is proven false by his love of Buttercup.
 
**This statement is proven false by his love of Buttercup.
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* Is an awesome person and better than you.
 
* Is an awesome person and better than you.
 
* The above statement is true.
 
* The above statement is true.
* Ferns are plants meant to spice up your home office
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* Ferns are awesome.
* & is sexy. (well drawn symbols)
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* & is sexy.
* I can't think of anything else to add to this list. (blatant lying)
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* I can't think of anything else to add to this list.
* Has a plush of Rosie. (this is true)
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* Has a plush of Rosie.  
 
* Knows how to lure hookers to his house.
 
* Knows how to lure hookers to his house.
 
* And sluts. (See [[Panty]])
 
* And sluts. (See [[Panty]])
 
* Has super saiyan swagger
 
* Has super saiyan swagger
* I wish Longmont Potion Castle would call me
 
  
 
==Links==
 
==Links==
 
*[http://youtube.com/user/bmatf Youtube Account]
 
*[http://youtube.com/user/bmatf Youtube Account]
*[http://youtube.com/user/ButtercupsLover Condemned]
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*[http://youtube.com/user/ButtercupsLover Alternate account]
 
*[http://youtube.com/user/DrHouseTan Tennis Account]
 
*[http://youtube.com/user/DrHouseTan Tennis Account]
 
*[http://www.dailymotion.com/BMATF Dailymotion Account]
 
*[http://www.dailymotion.com/BMATF Dailymotion Account]
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== Personal Info ==
 
== Personal Info ==
  
Name: Erik
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Name: Steven
  
Age: Older than the Illuminati
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Age: 19
  
Country: God Bless the USA
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Country: USA
  
Interests: It's your property (end of story)
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Interests: Shit.
  
Job: Anime Priest
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Job: More shit.
  
I'M NOT UPDATING THE HALL OF AVATARS ANYMORE IT'S TOO MUCH WORK!!!!!!!
 
  
 
==Hall of Avatars==
 
==Hall of Avatars==

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