Editing Gabe Newell

{{character}}
{{CharBox
|name=Gabe Logan Newell
|image=Gabe_newell.jpg
|caption=Gabe Newell in all his glory
|sex=Male
|age=49
|occupation=Managing Director of Valve Corporation
}}
'''Gabe Newell''' (Alias ''GabeN'', ''Gay Ben'' or ''G.A.B.E.N.'') is the co-founder of Valve Corporation, the company responsible for popular video games such as [[Gordon Freeman|Half-Life]], [[GLaDOS|Portal]], [[Team Fortress 2]] and [[Left 4 Dead]].

==History==
[[Image:Gabe_Newell_GDC_2010.jpg|thumb|left|A younger Gaben.]]
Gabe Newell was born in 1962, and he was the most intelligent man at Harvard University, causing a huge number of teachers to lose their job. He replaced all of them! Then with his gigantic brain, he went to [[Microsoft]], only to be fired by [[Bill Gates]] for hacking his high-tech computers. During his time in unemployment he became so depressed he began to eat his weight in food every day. Gabe's huge stockpile of [[money]] from his days at Microsoft began to dwindle quickly due to his newfound eating habits. It would be the next spring (after Gabe's hibernation) before he would answer a newspaper ad looking for a helping hand...

[[Image:Gabe_3.jpg|thumb|Gabe Newell's great great grandpa, seen here plundering the high seas for "booty".]]
===Valve Corporation===
Before Gabe turned it into a videogame company, Valve was a plumbing syndicate, founded by [[two]] [[Mario|famous]] [[Luigi|plumbers]], but the syndicate went bankrupt thanks to Gabe wasting all their money on food. So, he decided to turn the old plumbing corporation into a merry land of fun, joy, and [[Heavy Weapons Guy|Russians]]. This was a drastic business transition but it earned the company a big enough profit to keep itself afloat while still being able to manage Gabe's monstrous appetite.

==List of video games made by Valve==
[[Image:Newnewell.gif‎|thumb|frame|250px|What a wonderful afternoon...]]
*Half-Life (1998)
*Half-Life: Opposing Force (1999)
*Counter-Strike (1999)
*Day of Defeat (1999)
*Team Fortress Classic (1999)
*Ricochet (2000)
*Half-Life: Blue Shift (2001)
*Half-Life: Decay (2001)
*Half Life 2 (2004)
*Half Life 2: Deathmatch (2004)
*Counter-Strike: Source (2005)
*Day of defeat: Source (2005)
*Half Life 2: Episode 1 (2006)
*The Orange Box (2007)
:#Half Life 2: Episode 2
:#[[GLaDOS|Portal]]
:#[[Team Fortress 2]]
*[[Left 4 Dead]] (2008)
*Left 4 Dead 2 (2009)
*Alien Swarm (2010)
*Portal 2 (2011)
*[[No|Half Life 2: Episode 3]] (it will never be released)

==Likes==
*[[Food]]
*[[Food]]
*[[Food]]
*[[My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic]] ([[No]] [[Shit]]!)
[[Image:GodNewell.jpg|thumb|right|250px|Gabe Newell's final form.]]

==Dislikes==
*Other FPS games
*Being called fat
*Being called "Gay Ben"
*[[PS3]], until recently when, [[Chad Warden]] said he would take away his food if he didn't make Portal 2 on the PS3 better than on the [[Xbox 360|360]].
*The number 3

==Liked by==
*Half-Life Fans
*Bronies
*His wife

==Disliked by==
*Other video game companies.
*Fans who want to play Half-Life 2: Episode 3 already.

==Trivia==
*He has a wife and two diabetic children.
*He's also playable in [[Left 4 Dead]].
*He caused at least three quarters of every single earthquake from 1963 to date.
*[[TyrannosaurusReich]] loves him. Maybe even more than he loves Mai.
*Gabe used to own a Bowflex machine, but he ended up eating it whole.
*He has a secret desire to be [[Ringo Starr]] of [[The Beatles]].
*Everytime you insult Gabe's girth, Episode 3 gets delayed another week. Think about that before you say something next time.

[[Category: Characters]]
[[Category: Characters - Male]]
[[Category: Fat Characters]]
[[Category: Video Game Characters]]
[[Category: Characters - Geniuses]]
[[Category: Real People]]
[[Category: Internet Memes]]
[[Category: Pirates]]