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JoJo's Bizarre Adventure

From Chewiki Archive - YouChew: 1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
MediaNice.jpg This article is about a Media Source, which is remixed to create a YouTube Poop.


By Hirohiko Araki, this was a series that presented the idea of "Stands" that protect and assist the characters greatly during battle. What's also notable that most of the characters (and Stands as the series goes on) are named after musicians, bands and in part 6's case, fashion brands. Kinda why the Part 5 PS2 game never got an overseas release and why All Star Battle took a while to show up overseas really.

Unless you watched Part 1 or 2 where we had Hamon power instead. Basically "Hamon" was if Hokuto Shinken was powered by magic breathing techniques, sun power and was only mostly good for killing vampires. Then Part 7 came up with the "Spin" power involving some magic rectangle and spinning steel balls around or whatever.

Currently the manga's on Part 8 ("Jojolion"), a story about some sailor guy called Josuke Higashikata (no relation to the dude from Part 4) who may or may not be Yoshikage Kira and some other guy fused together. He has a Stand called "Soft & Wet" that can take shit from people. Using bubbles. Kinda cute.

Basically its the long adventures of the Joestar family over many generations as they fight a series of douchebag super villains. It can easily be summarised as thus (SPOILERS WATCH OUT)

  • Part 1 (Phantom Blood): Jonathan meets Dio, Dio goes vampire on him, Jonathan teams up with former thief Robert E. O. Speedwagon and Italian top-hatted Obi-Wan ripoff William Anthonio Zeppeli to beat Dio up. Also Jonathan learns "Hamon" and dies at the end thanks to Dio's severed head shooting eye goo at his neck.
  • Part 2 (Battle Tendency): Joseph goes on an incredibly homoerotic adventure, forms an incredibly homoerotic friendship with Caesar Anthonio Zeppeli (yep, Will's grandson) and fights incredibly homoerotic vampires named Pillar Men (Santana/Santviento, Wham/Wamuu, ACDC/Esidisi and Cars/Kars,) one of them (Cars/Kars) goes fully immortal thanks to a magic stone and Joseph shoots him into space. Also Joseph teams up with a Nazi. Yes. Nazis portrayed as the good guys here. And yet the Nazi (Stroheim) is one of the most enjoyable characters in the series.
  • Part 3 (Stardust Crusaders): The one everyone loves. Jotaro gets a Stand and goes to Egypt to beat up a reborn Dio.
  • Part 4 (Diamond is Unbreakable/Not Crash): Jotaro goes to Morioh and meets his "uncle" Josuke. They beat up one serial killer douchebag (Angelo) but whoops, there's another serial killer on the loose! (Yoshikage Kira) Jotaro and Josuke beat the shit out of Kira and a whole bunch of other Stand masters. Also this was around the time Stands started getting named after bands and shit. Hell, Josuke's Stand is called "Crazy Diamond" for pete's sake.
  • Part 5 (Vento Aureo/Golden Wind): Dio's son Giorno runs about Italy trying to become a Mafia don so he can stop the local drugs trade. Also he runs into Koichi Hirose, the midget from Part 4, meets Polnareff from Part 3 and willingly kills a few douchebags. SPOILERS he ends up getting one of the most broken Stands in the series and beats up Mafia don Diavolo to take control of the mafia. This was where Araki started naming Stands after REALLY blatant shit that could easily bait every last lawyer in the West. Three of them are called "Sex Pistols", "Aerosmith" and "Spice Girl" for the love of god. Let's see THOSE names fly anywhere other than Japan.
  • Part 6 (Stone Ocean): Jotaro's daughter Jolyne Cujoh is thrown in prison for a crime she didn't commit. Oops turns out it was a plot by Dio's boyfriend Enrico Pucci to get Jotaro's disc (no really,) speak 14 random-ass words to a green mutant baby and end up getting Made in Heaven, a Stand that can reset the universe. Also Jolyne has some serial killer whacko (Narciso Anasui) on her tail who has a serious boner for her. Surprisingly, Jolyne and gang fuck up and Pucci gets Made in Heaven and resets the universe so he can try to make and rule one according to Dio's wishes. Only he never gets to because Jolyne's weirdass 12 year old friend Emporio Alnino kills the shit out of Pucci.
  • Part 7 (Steel Ball Run): First alternate universe story. Paraplegic jockey Johnny Joestar takes part in a cross country horse race along with cowboy-hatted Italian executioner Gyro Zeppeli and meets up with Dio Brando's alternate universe self, Diego Brando. Also alternate universe Abdul and Stroheim have cameos at one point. Oh wait never mind turns out the cross country race was a smokescreen by US President Funny Valentine so he can find the pieces of Jesus Christ's corpse and use them to bring unparalleled prosperity to the US but he's being a douche about it by killing people and trying to kill Johnny and Gyro and almost raping Lucy Steel. No really. SBR is THAT kinda story.
  • Part 8 (Jojolion): Currently ongoing. Josuke Higashikata, some kid with a gap in his teeth, four testicles (no really) and a sailor suit wakes up underground beneath something called "Wall Eyes" and goes on a batshit insane journey with Yasuho Hirose to find out who he is.

Surprisingly, Dio isn't the main villain in every single arc but he does have connections to some of them (Using a Stone Mask invented by Kars from Part 2, had one of his magic Stand Arrows stolen from him by Yoshikage Kira's dad in Part 4, was Giorno's dad in Part 5 and also had an arrow stolen by Diavolo and was totally gay for Enrico Pucci in part 6 along with his other sons, Ungaro, Rykiel and Donatello Versace showing up.)

Media Information[edit]

This JJBA is an anime series based on the third chapter of the series, Stardust Crusaders. Also got a video game from Capcom for the CPS3 hardware. It got two games based on Vento Aureo/Golden Wind and Phantom Blood chapters on PS2 and All Star Battle for PS3 starring almost EVERYBODY important from the manga. The recent released game is Eyes of Heaven. Since they're not in the OVA though and some people used the newer anime series, they're not listed here. In 2012 David Production released a new JoJo anime and the popularity of the show skyrocketed. Also, there was a film based on Phantom Blood arc released on theatres in 2007 and after the screenings, it got lost. So far, only the 17 minutes worth of footage, two trailers and recently found 2004 animated pilot resurfaced.


With emphasis given to those seen in Youtube Poops

  • Jotaro Kujo
  • Dio Brando
  • Jean Pierre Polnareff
  • Hol Horse (YES SIRRYYYYYY)
  • Mohammed Abdul
  • Noriaki Kakyoin
  • Iggy
  • Vanilla Ice (also referred to as "White Rapper Vampire" as a YTP nickname by MelvanainChains, no relation to the old rapper)
  • Daniel J D'Arby

Episodes etc[edit]


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