Captain Rescue is a retired superhero from Mobius.
We don't know his birth place or date, but we do know that his first job was as a prostitute.
The Hero Years
Captain Rescue loved that little, furry, two-tailed fox named Tails, until he found-out that Tails was in love with Sonic. After finding this out, Captain Rescue raped Tails, and then tried to rape Sonic. However, he was unable to rape Sonic, because he is too fast.
- A Rescue Rocket
- The Red Rocket
- A Boomerang
- A Slim Pack of Doublemint Gum
- Overcooked Shoes
- A Machine to drain drugs
- I'm Captain Rescue.
- Oldtimer? OLDTIMER?! I was saving Mobius from
niggersbad guys when you were still a hedgehoglet!
- You know me?
- I'm not old.
- It's all just j-j-j-j-j-jjjjjj ju-ju-j-ju-ju-ju jjjj nk now jj-ju-ju-j
- Taste my boomerang!
- Captain Rescue to the Doublemint Rescue!
- Actually, I use that to drain my drugs.
- Surrender! Surrender! Surrender!
- Oldtimer? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!
- Forget your stupid doll!
- How'd you find me?