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Link
Link is a civilian of Hyrule. He usually hangs out at the castle, hearing bouts about what all true warriors by the King himself. Link thiks many things are boring, and according to the Scripture of Utter Bullcrap, is the only person who can defeat Ganon. He also like to eat octoroks, bomb dodongos, being curious, and claiming that he won.
It has been assumed Link is a homosexual, seeing has he has tried to sneak kisses with Gwonam at multiple times. However, this has been disproven as he has had sex with Zelda, Impa, and Lady Alma many times.
Link also likes to eat. He has been known to have some cooking skill, but he almost burned down all of Hyrule after foolishly putting spaghetti in a toaster. He is also addicted to Volvic mineral water, and cakes (normally from the baker in Sakado, although the claimed "cakes" are actually loaves of bread. That two-timing S.O.B.).
