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Editing Ash Ketchum
From Chewiki Archive - YouChew:
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[[Image:Episode_-4_Challenge_Of_The_Samurai_074_0001.jpg|thumb|Our hero doing what he does best; Masturbating behind the bushes.]] | [[Image:Episode_-4_Challenge_Of_The_Samurai_074_0001.jpg|thumb|Our hero doing what he does best; Masturbating behind the bushes.]] | ||
[[image:Gun.png|thumb|Ash, seen here one second before he got shot in the face by Kaizer, because of how much of a bastard he was.]] | [[image:Gun.png|thumb|Ash, seen here one second before he got shot in the face by Kaizer, because of how much of a bastard he was.]] | ||
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Ash also has a rare disease which prevents him from ever reaching puberty. For nearly ten years since the start of the show, he has stayed the same exact age (Ten or eleven), but this disorder does not seem exclusive to him. However, as a result, Ash is doomed to wander the planet aimlessly until the end of time or until the show is finally canceled which right now seems like an impossibility. | Ash also has a rare disease which prevents him from ever reaching puberty. For nearly ten years since the start of the show, he has stayed the same exact age (Ten or eleven), but this disorder does not seem exclusive to him. However, as a result, Ash is doomed to wander the planet aimlessly until the end of time or until the show is finally canceled which right now seems like an impossibility. | ||
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==Likes== | ==Likes== | ||
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*Punching [[Pikachu]] | *Punching [[Pikachu]] | ||
*Stealing/destroying little girls bikes. | *Stealing/destroying little girls bikes. | ||
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==Dislikes== | ==Dislikes== | ||
*[[Gary Oak]], his rival who <strike>is</strike> was more likely to become a Pokemon Master then he, and <strike>is</strike> was better than him in almost every conceivable way possible. (This was proved wrong when Ash defeated him in battle back in the mystical and magical year of 2002.) | *[[Gary Oak]], his rival who <strike>is</strike> was more likely to become a Pokemon Master then he, and <strike>is</strike> was better than him in almost every conceivable way possible. (This was proved wrong when Ash defeated him in battle back in the mystical and magical year of 2002.) | ||
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*[[You]] | *[[You]] | ||
*[[Team Rocket]] (Especially since he thinks that they have [[no]] lives at all.) | *[[Team Rocket]] (Especially since he thinks that they have [[no]] lives at all.) | ||
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*[[Brock]] | *[[Brock]] | ||
*[[May]] | *[[May]] | ||
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*[[Pimpsahoy]] | *[[Pimpsahoy]] | ||
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The following is a list of all the Pokémon Ash has ever owned (barring ones that are pre-evolutions). Even the ones he got rid of. (So much for being a Pokémon master, right?) | The following is a list of all the Pokémon Ash has ever owned (barring ones that are pre-evolutions). Even the ones he got rid of. (So much for being a Pokémon master, right?) | ||
[[Image:AshapologizestoMinnesota.JPG|thumb|right|Ash ended up having to apologizing to [[Minnesota]] afterwords.]] | [[Image:AshapologizestoMinnesota.JPG|thumb|right|Ash ended up having to apologizing to [[Minnesota]] afterwords.]] | ||
| − | *[[Pikachu]] ([[M.Bison|Of course]] | + | *[[Pikachu]] ([[M.Bison|Of course]].) |
*[[Bird|Pidgeot]] | *[[Bird|Pidgeot]] | ||
*Squirtle | *Squirtle | ||
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*Butterfree | *Butterfree | ||
*Raticate | *Raticate | ||
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*Primeape | *Primeape | ||
*Kingler | *Kingler | ||
*[[Cum|Muk]] | *[[Cum|Muk]] | ||
| − | *[[Steak|Tauros]] (30 of 'em | + | *[[Steak|Tauros]] (30 of 'em) |
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*Lapras | *Lapras | ||
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*Snorlax | *Snorlax | ||
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*Bayleef | *Bayleef | ||
*Totodile | *Totodile | ||
*Quilava | *Quilava | ||
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*Noctowl | *Noctowl | ||
*Aipom | *Aipom | ||
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*Larvitar | *Larvitar | ||
[[Image:Hillbillies.png|frame|This is the first time that anybody discovered that Ash was a [[:Category:Southerners|hillbilly]] after all this time!]] | [[Image:Hillbillies.png|frame|This is the first time that anybody discovered that Ash was a [[:Category:Southerners|hillbilly]] after all this time!]] | ||
| − | [[Image:Prima.png|frame| | + | [[Image:Prima.png|frame|I'm gonna kill that bastard.]] |
*Sceptile | *Sceptile | ||
*Torkoal | *Torkoal | ||
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*Gible | *Gible | ||
*[[Scorpion|Glis]][[Batman|cor]] | *[[Scorpion|Glis]][[Batman|cor]] | ||
| − | *[[Bird| | + | *[[Bird|Mamepato]] |
| − | * | + | *Oshawatt |
| − | * | + | *Tepig |
*[[Snivy]] | *[[Snivy]] | ||
| − | * | + | *Zuruggu |
| − | * | + | *Sewaddle |
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==Quotes== | ==Quotes== | ||
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*Once lost a Pokémon battle to Father Time from ''[[Histeria]]'' (Bulbasaur's Vine Whip was no match for Big Fat Baby's slobber attack). | *Once lost a Pokémon battle to Father Time from ''[[Histeria]]'' (Bulbasaur's Vine Whip was no match for Big Fat Baby's slobber attack). | ||
*He thinks that if an older brother makes fun of you for shaving, you should use Charizard's flame-thrower attack. | *He thinks that if an older brother makes fun of you for shaving, you should use Charizard's flame-thrower attack. | ||
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*He believes that [[American Football|Vikings]] live in [[Minnesota]]. That Ash is a confused fellow. | *He believes that [[American Football|Vikings]] live in [[Minnesota]]. That Ash is a confused fellow. | ||
| − | * | + | *Offscreen, some of his Pokémon end up having sexual encounters with other Pokémon. Some of those primary examples include [[Pikachu]] ([[M. Bison|OF COURSE!!!]]), Bulbasaur (having [[sex]] in [[pussy|vaginas]]), Charizard (having sex in the [[ass]]), [[Smugleaf]] (having [[cum|oral]] sex), Mijumaru (having sex with the [[gay]] Pokémon), and Pokabu (he somehow has the unfortunate side-effect of giving the Pokémon STDs like [[AIDS]] and [[shit]]). Go figure, right? |
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[[Category:Bisexual Characters]] | [[Category:Bisexual Characters]] | ||
| − | [[Category: | + | [[Category:Characters - Japanese]] |
[[Category:Anime Characters]] | [[Category:Anime Characters]] | ||
| + | [[Category:Pokémon]] | ||
[[Category:Characters - Appears in Super Smash Bros.]] | [[Category:Characters - Appears in Super Smash Bros.]] | ||
[[Category:Transvestites]] | [[Category:Transvestites]] | ||
[[Category:Children]] | [[Category:Children]] | ||
[[Category:Nintendo Characters]] | [[Category:Nintendo Characters]] | ||
