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Chester A. Bum

From Chewiki Archive - YouChew: 1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
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And Now, It's Time For Another Chewiki Article. Tonight's Review: Chester A. Bum.

OH MY GOD, THIS IS THE GREATEST CHEWIKI ARTICLE I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE!!!!! There's this guy, whose name is Chester A. Bum, and he usually reviews current movies. (Which is quite the opposite of what the Nostalgia Critic usually does. (Infact, Chester once reviewed that one Big Bird movie that I can't seem to recall when the Nostalgia Critic cried because he simply didn't wan't to bash it, no matter how hard he tried.)) He usually calls the movie that he reviews "THE GREATEST MOVIE HE'S EVER SEEN IN HIS LIFE!!!". (Which is really quite repetitive, when you think about that.) BUT WHO CARES ABOUT REPITION?! Not Chester A. Bum. He then describes how the movie follows out in his own perspective (with some of Chester A. Bum's own thoughts about some of the scenes he saw during that movie.). He sometimes also says random stuff that sort of make sense when thinking about these scenes, like how that Speed Racer movie made him feel like he was on drugs, except that he wasn't on drugs. (That reason is because that he was indeed the drugs itself.) He also spoils the ending of that movie if you didn't see it yourself. THAT'S NOT ALL! I ALSO DID A EPISODE FOR ASKTHATGUYWITHTHEGLASSES WHEN HE DIED DUE TO A SCREAMER (Which was because some nimrod asked him how to avoid screamers at all costs.). I ALSO FEEL LIKE I'VE INJECTED HEROIN INSIDE OF MY DICK! HOORAY!!! (Did I also forget to mention that he says HOORAY!!! at random times sometimes.) This is Chester A. Bum saying: CHANGE!!! YOU GOT CHANGE!!! AW, COME ON! HELP A GUY OUT, WILL YA?! CHANGE!

Quotes

  • "I once thought my car was a cookie, except it wasn't a car or a cookie...IT WAS MAN!"
  • "It felt like I was on drugs, except I wasn't on drugs!!! I Was Drugs!!!!!!!!!!!!"
  • "OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
  • "OH MY GOD, THIS IS THE WORST THING I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE!!!"
  • "I wish I had a vagina!"

Trivia

  • He can shave his beard off by putting cheeze whiz (lol) on his face and make all his rats name Darryl (sp?) eat the hair that's covered on the cheese.
  • Was confirmed to have eaten his mother, which ment that he once had to resort to cannibalism in order for him to survive. (See his The Day The Earth Stood Still review as proof.)
  • He was once parodied by Benzaie.
  • It was revealed that he has a special perfume thing called "Bumessence".
  • He really hates that Twilight thing. (You know what I mean?)
  • He also thinks that Citizen Kane is the worst movie he ever saw in his life.
  • He also gets orgasmic whenever someone says change. "Change? CHANGE! YOU GOT CHANGE?! AW, COME ON, HELP A GUY OUT WILL YOU? CHANGE! I PROMISE THAT I'LL STOP SHAVING WITH MY PET RATS!!!"