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Ganon

From Chewiki Archive - YouChew: 1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
CharNice.jpg This article is filed under Characters.
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Ganon's IQ lowers dramatically in this picture. It practically DIED.
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Ganon saying, "Your Face!"

Ganon is an evil sorcerer from the Zelda games. His name was misspelled as Gannon in the CD-i games because the developers couldn't read or write. Ganon tried to take over KoriDIE and Gamelon with his evil minions but failed due to Link (and later, Zelda) trapping him in the "pit". Ganon has frequently made deals with Link to "make [his] face the greatest in KoriDIE". This was however mistook by many people, including Link, as this phrase is actually Ganon's way of asking for head. Ganon had an airforce in his lair but was destroyed by Mario when he used kamehameha in Ultimania.

Skills/Personality

Ganon is an extremely weak last boss (the weakest last boss in the history of weak), as he dies in one hit when you throw a book at him. Ganon's favorite word is DIE, and he loves to kill things with his thunder attacks (namely, Bolt3), and he also loves to just say the word DIE, and make a retarded face. It is to be noted that his face is currently the greatest in KoriDIE. It was found out recently that he is a doctor; A news article called him "Dr. Brian Gannon".

Cultural Heritage: Germany

Power Level: -10 Uctions

Legal Issues

The Ganon Jr. Case

Apparently, Ganon and Zelda had sex during the course of Poops being made and resulted in Ganon Jr. Legal custody is being fought over at the hand of Judge Judy. Later, Ganon and Zelda would have another baby, Zeldanon.

Noise Violations

Ganon is a die hard fan of Dethklok, a death metal band. He likes to play it loudly in his lair. Gwonam who lives in a house nearby often has seizures because of Ganon's loud music. Lawsuits are currently being filed because of this.


Quotes

Ganon Ganon

DIE!

Ganon Ganon

Join me, Link, and I will make your face the greatest in Korridai, or else you will DIE!

Ganon Ganon

You dare bring light to my lair?! YOU MUST DIE! *(Strikes Zelda with lightning bolts coming from his hands

Ganon Ganon

NO! Not into the pit, it BUURNS!

Ganon Ganon

You haven't seen the last of me!

Ganon Ganon

Your face!