Rock TV

Rock TV is a satellite subscription to at least 4,862 channels from past to present to the future, and also one of King Koopa's failed attempts to scam Mario and Luigi. It is developed by a so-called Lotica Studios, as seen in the advertisement below.

How King Koopa got the stupid idea

A cave people family gave King Koopa the idea to start all this. He said it can rot brains and leave Mario and Luigi weak and useless in trying to defeat him.

Features

For a very small price of $1295.31 a month, you can enjoy lots of television shows you don't really need to or DON'T want to watch. In four to six weeks, you get either a small TV made out of stone used to watch your channels, or you can get a very large square bagel-ish TV (which Poopers call the bagel ring), where you can challenge others to wrestle you. Plus, you get a satellite made out of of yarn, paper clips, and some fuzzy 20-sided dice. You can even watch reruns of Tom and Jerry cartoons in approximately 36% of all channels available. If you can find it, there's also a Youtube Poop channel available showing videos of some of the best poops available... on your TV!

Refunds

Sorry, no refunds. It is unlikely that King Koopa will start accepting refunds when you don't like Rock TV. Thus, you can't return it. If you don't pay your subscription monthly, your television or bagel ring will be smashed to pieces and fed to Third World people.

Does Rock TV compete with any other cable companies?

No, it tries not to. In fact, Rock TV has tried many attempts to force Comcast to try to buy it and make Rock TV a subsidiary of Comcast, but every time, it has failed. It also tried a take over from Virgin, but they didn't have enough money to conquer Sky, the satellite comany in the UK. Recently, Rock TV has been bought by a lesser-known company called Lotica Studios.

Please don't watch this advertisement.

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