Arthur Read

This article is filed under Characters.

Arthur Read is an aardvark and convicted pedophile from the TV show Arthur. He enjoys building model planes body parts and sexually assaulting his friends and family members. He is quite possibly the youngest pedophile ever.

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Arthur, ready to assault a crowd.

Arrest

Although Arthur's crimes went unnoticed most of the time, he was eventually discovered because Buster, his friend and one of his victims, spilled the beans (Arthur forgot that Buster is bad at keeping secrets). After a lengthy court session (Arthur's lawyer was Apollo Justice, and Phoenix Wright is infinitely superior), evidence of Arthur's vast crimes were discovered in his socks drawer (Why people would look there, or why the evidence was there is beyond me), and he was jailed. Not only that, but he was guilty of hurting Cody's Jessica.

Love Life

Arthur has been accused jokingly of being in a relationship with Francine Frensky. However, this is known to be untrue, as Arthur has been found in bed with Scott. Why Scott was in bed with an aardvark was beyond me. However, Arthur claims that this was unintentional on his part; to other animals, he looks like he normally does, but to other people, he looks like a regular stuffed aardvark. Everybody knows that Scott needs his stuffed aardvark to sleep, so you can see how this got mixed up.

Family

Arthur loves to beat the shit out of his little sister, often punching her to the tune of "Dragula" or the Mortal Kombat theme song. If he turns red and Falcon Punches her, her blood and guts spray all over the city. Sometimes he even beats up his parents, as well as CD-i characters.

Where Is He Now?

Elwood City Prison, doing homework Mr. Ratburn sent him and writing names in his Death Note.

He's also a pretty good bad dancer, too.

Quotes

• "Hey, D.W.!"
• "Follow the weird naked Indian!"
• "I told you not to TOUCH IT!!"
• "Uh-oh; middle name!"
• "Hey, you're not gonna eat me!"
• "A-A-R-D-V-A-R-K! A-A-R-D-V-A-R-K! A-A-R-D..."
• "DORA WINFRED! DORA WINFRED!"
• "It's not a game, it's a penis."
• "It's hard, but I'm almost done."
• "Hey, Binky, you dropped your penis!"
• "A STICK?"

Trivia

• Arthur once did the forbidden chant of Cthulhu. He not only ended up growing larger than ever, but he also ate most of his friends.
• He wants you to follow the weird, naked Indian.