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Xuchilbara
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Xuchilbara has contributed at least one article to the YouChew front page.
Smoke dampened the air. The smell of gunpowder was overpowering. "Mr.Nibs! What do you have to report on the enemy?" "There's like a battalion around the corner. I think we're out numbered." "Then it is an even fight..." "...You took that line from Halo-" "-Yes I did. CHARGE!" Xuchilbara's legion of two galloped down the hill, swords raised, shirts smeared with blood and toothpaste. The unexpecting enemy didn't even have time to kill them. They carved through the horde, limbs flying, guts rupturing, farts spilling. Any poet would have died to see it. "AHA, THAT'S SEVENTY-TWO!" cried Xu. "I think that was 69." Mr.Nibs pointed out. "ACH, no matter. Like my friend Eddie used to say 'IT'S ALL THE SAME ONCE YOU'RE DEAD!'" "He was also beaten to death with a wooden plank." "....So? Want to make something of it!?" Screamed Xu as he plunged his fist through a face.
The battle ended 14 hours later, with 845 dead and 2 injured. Xuchilbara and Mr.Nibs shot the remaining two. "That wasn't so hard now, was it?" asked Xu. "I think I broke a nail." "You're gay." "Africans." They made camp beside an abandoned zoo. "...unless it's a farm." Xuchilbara muttered under his breath. "Tea?" "Sure."
While they slept, a band of rowdy CD-i Poopers snuck up behind them. They had toasters. Mr. Nibs: 'Hey, what was that? I thought I heard lotsa spaghetti?" "Just the wind. Go back to sleep before I melt you down... my... way..." And Xu was off to sleep. He didn't awake untill he heard Mr.Nibs' screams and the ruffle of instruction books.
