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Impa

From Chewiki Archive - YouChew: 1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
CharNice.jpg This article is filed under Characters.

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Name: Impa
Appears In: The Legend of Zelda
Sex: Female
Age: 72 (at most)
Nationality: Ukrainian
Occupation(s): King's Advisor, Zelda's nanny

Impa is the advisor to the King of Hyrule and keeper of the Triforce of Wisdom. She is also Zelda's Personal Aid.

Cultural Heritage: Native American in most Zelda games, but she really looks white in the CD-i games.

Health Issues

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Hektad is dangerous!

It has been made apparent that Impa often suffers from extensive seizures and Alzheimer's Disease.

Trivia

Impa in her younger days.
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Impa, after seeing this article.
  • She is not involved with The Hairspray Queen's takeover of the Chef's burnt cakes.
  • She has an abnormally large left arm and hand that she uses to stroke Zelda when she is upset.
  • She is often woken up by Zelda to take random trips to both Gamelon and IHOP. She's also woken up by Zelda for certain actions that shouldn't be named.
  • She really likes to say "Oh my!" or "Oh dear!" a lot, as if she's surprised by everything.
  • She is known to roar when angry.
  • According to Tourettes Guy, "SHE'S OLD AS FUCK!"
  • Really old men, however, thick she's as sexy as fuck. (Gross!)
    • She actually was in Ocarina of Time, where she was young.
    • She was also in Oracle of Seasons and Oracle of Ages, where she was a big fat lady.

Quotes

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Impa

Don't worry, Zelda. The triforce of wisdom promises the king will safely return!

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Impa

I'm certain. He's alright!

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Impa

Alright dear, I'll get the triforce of wisdom.

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Impa

Oh my! It looks like everyone's been taken to Tykogi Tower.

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Impa

Yes...oh my! Your father has been captured!

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Impa

He's been in a terrible fight. I can't tell what happened!

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Impa

Oh dear! Wizzrobe has captured Lady Alma!

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Impa

Look how your father was captured!

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Impa

Hektad is DANGEROUS!

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Impa

You smell like shit!

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Impa

I wonder what it all means!

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Impa

The King's a terrible father!

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Impa

Your father's the king!

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Impa

Hektad is sexy.