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Patrick Star

From Chewiki Archive - YouChew: 1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
CharNice.jpg This article is filed under Characters.

A fat-ass, pink and retarded starfish who lives next door to SpongeBob. No, wait, that's not right, his "house" is to the side of Squidward's. Who the hell cares, I don't watch the damn show.

Significance

Patrick laughing at his latest victim who had fallen victim to STERILE.

He has the ability to become STERILE and terrorize entire cities, towns, even continents with his pathetic plague of STERILE. Eustace Bagg can't stand STERILE, nor can he be in the same room with STERILE. Dr. Robotnik is Patrick's partner-in-crime, who also kills people with this disease. His plan needs to be so STERILE, only he knows about it.

He has no relation with Ringo Starr, who POSSIBLY looks at his dodongo at night.


Is this the Krusty Krab?

  • No, this is Patrick.

Is This SPARTA?!

  • No, This Is Patrick!

Is This Delicious?!?

Criminal Record

  • Patrick Star has been convicted of multiple charges of molestation, robbery, and even murder.
  • How many murders, no one will ever know.
  • He once disguised himself as a girl, then stripped naked at the Krusty Krab, causing permanent eye damage to Squidward.
  • He once bothered several old people by disguising himself as a snowman.
  • He also raped 34 children in exactly one week.