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Difference between revisions of "Gandalf"
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Revision as of 15:09, 20 October 2009
This article is filed under Characters.Gandalf is an exceedingly old wizard from the far reaches of Middle-Earth. He makes his primary appearances in J. R. R. R. R. R. R. Tolkein's works of epic fantasy, and has been portrayed on-screen by several actors and voice actors. Gandalf has a profound fetish for hobbits and other short creatures. In order to cope with this fetish, he resorts to lacing their drinks and foodstuffs with a variety of drugs, and taking them on "magical journeys" - presumably treks into isolation so he can then sexually assault them.
Of Gandalf's most defining features are his eyes. They have been known to actually burn holes in things, and otherwise hypnotize those who stare into them for prolonged periods of time. The only time Gandalf ever blinked was on September 1st, 1939 - otherwise known as the outbreak of World War II.
Hobbies and Interests
- Hobbits
- Stalking hobbits from the periphery of a hill or wood.
- Crystal balls to see the future.
- Ballads about the adventures of Frodo.
- Falling off of things.
- White clothes.
- Flying.
- Mariners on Mountains of Shit
