Notice: We are aware that many of the Chewiki’s images are still broken. We promise: we will try our best to fix it, but we don't guarantee that the fix will be trivial.


From Chewiki Archive - YouChew: 1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas

Error creating thumbnail: File missing

Name: Gandalf
Appears In: The Lord of the Rings Series
Sex: Male
Age: Very, very old.
Occupation(s): Wizard
Played By: John Huston (The Hobbit 1977 and Return of the King 1980), William Squire (The Lord of the Rings 1977), Ian McKellen (Jackson versions)

CharNice.jpg This article is filed under Characters.

Gandalf is an exceedingly old wizard from the far reaches of Middle-Earth. He makes his primary appearances in J. R. R. R. R. R. R. Tolkein's works of epic fantasy, and has been portrayed on-screen by several actors and voice actors. Gandalf has a profound fetish for hobbits and other short creatures. In order to cope with this fetish, he resorts to lacing their drinks and foodstuffs with a variety of drugs, and taking them on "magical journeys" - presumably tricks into isolation so he can then sexually assault them.

Of Gandalf's most defining features are his eyes. They have been known to actually burn holes in things, and otherwise hypnotize those who stare into them for prolonged periods of time. The only time Gandalf ever blinked was on September 1st, 1939 - otherwise known as the outbreak of World War II.

Hobbies and Interests[edit]

  • Hobbits
  • Stalking hobbits from the periphery of a hill or wood.
  • Crystal balls to see the future.
  • Ballads about the adventures of Frodo.
  • Falling off of things.
  • White clothes.
  • Flying.
  • Mariners on Mountains of Shit