George The Volcano

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George while he suffers his burns.

George raising hell. Literally.

George the Volcano is a massive puppet volcano that lives in Europe. He has suffered fifth-degree burns from a run-in with Link and does not wish to be disturbed. Apart from this, he is infact a gigantic, naturally evolved Volvic Vending Machine who has gone slightly insane over the millenia from having to serve people like Tyrannosaurus Alan his volcano rock juices. He is also a massive (literally) pervert and likes grabbing various things by the conkers. Is thought to be the horrific lovechild of Thrakkorzog and an unknown partner.

Personality

He is extremely loud and obnoxious, known to bug travellers (usually Tyrannosaurus Alan) on a daily basis about various forms of Volvic. George has an unnatural obsession with his birds, often leading him to yell out "MY BIRDS!". Although George is often cool and collected, he is known to erupt from time to time. While he normally fills his water with Volcanicity (filtered through his handsome volcano rocks), he is occasionally known to put other things in his water such as twists, breakfast, cum, turds and bombs. Travellers must be wary to carefully inspect anything given by George before drinking it (despite the fact he will insist, sometimes to the point of violence, that you TRY SOME right away). Some fun facts about George;

• His volcano rocks are incredibly handsome.
• Life apparently grabs him by the conkers
• He is known to often say things he isn't supposed to.
• He is the third-loudest being in all of poopdom, beaten only by Haruhi and Tidyup. The Oxy Clean Guy comes in behind him as a close fourth.
• When provoked, he is capable of summoning the apocalypse.
• Gorge is considered a suave ladies man among the bird population.
• Being completley immobile, George secretley wishes Tyrannosaurus Alan would just fuck off and stop bothering him.
• He is a pervert.
• Is the one of the strongest characters on the Strength Meter.

Quotes

• "I'm filling my water with Volcanicity!"
• "It grabs life by the conkers!"
• "I'll have you for BREAKFAST!"
• "Try Some!"
• "My Birds! Look; BIIIIIIIIIRDS!"
• "I'm the daddy NOOOOW!"
• "How DO you do it, Alan?!"
• "Well done to Revive!"
• "CUM on world!"
• "APPEASE ME WITH GIFTS AND SACRIFICES!" (a rare quote, only heard once)

Links

http://www.volvic.co.uk/ -George's Secret Hideout

http://volcanogeorge.spaces.live.com/ -George's Blog