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| | |image=Sonic 04.jpg | | |image=Sonic 04.jpg |
| | |shows=Sonic the Hedgehog | | |shows=Sonic the Hedgehog |
| − | |sex=Male
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| − | |age=15
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| − | |occupation=Fastest thing alive
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| − | |cast=[[Steve Urkel|Jaleel White]]/Ryan Drummond/[[Shadow the Hedgehog|Jason Anthony Griffith]]/Roger Craig Smith/Junichi Kanemaru/[[Dragon Ball|Takeshi]] [[Guilty Gear|Kusao]]/Roger Craig Smith
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| − | }}
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| − | [[Image:THATS_NO_GOOD.png|thumb|left|THAT'S NO GOOD!]]
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| − | Sonic is the mascot for [[SEGA]]. Despite him having an incredibly unpleasable and indecisive fanbase, [[SuperYoshi]] has stated on various occasions that Sonic is his favorite actor to work with. Sonic is also a lot cooler and eats less swords than those pussies [[Shadow the Hedgehog|Shadow]] and [[Silver the Hedgehog|Silver]], instead preferring chili dogs.
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| − |
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| − | ==Biography==
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| − | :''It was about this high, blue, and it looked like a freak.'' ~Anonymous policeman.<br>
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| − | {{VidCaption|S8ohom-du94|This guy sound familiar?}}
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| − | Sonic the Hedgehog (aka Sonico, Mr. Needlemouse, Cinos, (Dat) Hedgehog and other names) was born and raised in West [[Philadelphia]] until a couple of badniks, who were up to no good, started making trouble in Green Hill. He got in one little fight and Amy got scared and said "You're moving with your auntie and uncle in Scrap Brain." He whistled for a cab and when it came near, he gave it the middle finger. If anything, he could have said that this cab was Tails, so he went "THAT'S NO GOOD." He pulled up to Metropolis Zone at approximately 7 or 8 to claim his throne as the prince of the video game industry. Also throughout his entire career, Sonic has been in the porn industry...Yep...Look it up anywhere, I ain't lyin...
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| − |
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| − | ==Crimes==
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| − |
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| − | [[Image:NOWYOURAMAN.JPG|thumb|left|Sonic becomes [[Linkara|A MAN]] in his Super form.]]
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| − |
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| − | Is believed to have assassinated [[John Lennon]]. What a fag.
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| − |
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| − | He killed [[Mario]] by ejaculating on him in super form. Sonic's semen was so acidic, it destroyed Mario's skin.
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| − |
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| − | ==Quotes==
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| − | *EXACTLY!
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| − | *LET'S SHIT!
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| − | *That's no good.
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| − | *You're too slow!
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| − | *URRNGH! I'm MasturBAAAAAAATIIIIIIING!!!
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| − | [[Image:Robbed.gif|thumb|right|Sonic just realizing something.]]
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| − | [[Image:Everyonehatesonic.gif|right|frame|This happens to Sonic a lot nowadays.]]
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| − | *Tails is just like a little kid with his new toy.
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| − | *'''SHUT UP TAILS!!!'''
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| − | *Too easy! Piece of cay-ache!
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| − | *SHIT! Let's go!
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| − | *He's just a piece o' cheesy hardware!
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| − | *Let's rock!
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| − | *Whatcha see is whatcha get! I'm just a guy who loves adventure! I'm ''Sonic the Hedgehog!!''
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| − | *They might even open the gates of [[hell]]!
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| − | *Damn, they got away!
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| − | *Maybe I could've, but I didn't, didn't I?
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| − | *SPEED BREAK!!
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| − | *TIME BREAK!!
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| − | *I'm Sonic the Kidnapper!
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| − | *You might know everything I'm going to do, but that's not going to help you since I know everything your going to do! '''Strange isn't it?!'''
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| − | *Hey! THAT'S ''MY LINE!''
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| − | *Don't worry, I'll be out before you know it's funny.
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| − | *Whoops! Time to make a U-turn!
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| − | *I told you, I'm not a rat! I'm a HEDGEHOG!
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| − | *Hey, Kids! [[Dr. Rabbit|Strangers]] may offer you all sorts of things to get [[you]] to [[cum|come]] with them, [[Nostalgia Critic|like movies, magical tickets, and a lot of other horseshit,]] but chances are that [[Dr. Rabbit|they're]] just trying to touch your bathing suit area, and that's [[no]] [[good]]!!! So if a [[Dr. Rabbit|stranger]], especially Robert Prodsky tries to touch [[you]]r [[penis|chili dog]], just get outta there!
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| − | *They can't live me up!
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| − | *See Korean, I told you we'd make it in the 'he did not meet the agent.'
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| − | *My brain, you know it going to [[die]].
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| − |
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| − | ==Likes==
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| − | *Chili Dogs
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| − | *[[Princess Sally]]
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| − | *[[Amy Rose]]
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| − | *[[Breezie]]
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| − | *[[Braveheart|Freedom]]
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| − | *[[Tails]][[Image:SonicMarioParty.jpg|thumb|right|Sonic before Sonic Shuffle. ]]
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| − | *Himself
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| − | *Relaxing
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| − | *[[Knuckles the Echidna|Knuckles]]
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| − | *Being a DJ.
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| − | *[[Masturbation|Masturbating]]
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| − | *Tormenting Dr. Robotnik
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| − | *[[Namco]] (especially their ''Soulcalibur'' and ''Klonoa'' games)
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| − | *Tumble-dryers
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| − | *Hogging hedges
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| − |
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| − | {{vid|3dK2XLCzXdY}}
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| − |
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| − | ==Hates==
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| − | *Water (unless it's in a glass)
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| − | **Swimming
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| − | *[[Robotnik]]
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| − | *[[Silver the Hedgehog]]
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| − | *[[SNK]] (Even though they collaborated at least once.)
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| − | *Chip
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| − | *[[Sonic Underground]] (He insists that [[DiC]] made it without his permission.)
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| − | *Shaymin
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| − | *People who think he's [[gay]].
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| − | *His unpleasable fanbase.
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| − |
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| − | ==People Who Like Him==
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| − | [[Image:HEY_SONIC_by_advancedq.jpg|thumb|right|Sonic with one of his fanboys.]]
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| − |
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| − | [[Image:Normal Prevails 079.jpg|thumb|right|Sonic the Hedgehog during his 18th birthday.]]
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| − | *[[DaftPunkYoshi]]
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| − | *[[Amy Rose]]
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| − | *[[Princess Sally]]
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| − | *[[Sara]]
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| − | *[[Mario]] (sometimes)
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| − | *[[Ninja Coach Z]]
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| − | *[[Fiddlesticks411]]
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| − | *Shahra
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| − | *Sackboy (Loves [[Furry|dressing up like Sonic and his friends.]])
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| − | *Everyone who bought the game and enjoyed it.
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| − | *Cool people
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| − | *Heck, pretty much everybody in general.
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| − | *People who say they hate him.
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| − |
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| − | ==People Who Hate Him==
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| − | Sonic believes he is cool and popular, but there are actually quite a bit of people who have expressed disdain for him. Among those who have said they "hate that hedgehog":
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| − |
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| − | [[Image:Classicsonic.jpg|right|160px|Sonic]]
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| − |
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| − | * [[Dr. Robotnik]]
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| − | * [[Dr. Eggman]]
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| − | * Erazor Djinn
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| − | * Deedee from ''[[Dexter's Laboratory]]''
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| − | * [[Shredder]]
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| − | * Grouchy Smurf
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| − | * Ozu
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| − | * Mr. Grumpy (duh!)
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| − | * Mr. Clean
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| − | * [[Shadow the Hedgehog|Shadow]] (In a rival hate way)
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| − | * [[Mario]] (the rest of the time)
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| − | * Classic Sonic fans (Again, unpleasable.)
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| − | * [[Solid Snake]] (though he can't explain why)
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| − |
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| − | ==Trivia==
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| − |
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| − | [[Image:16 fanart sonicgottagofast.gif|thumb|left|An artist's common rendition of Sonic.]]
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| − |
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| − | {{vid|2jSKyWSvNgg}}
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| − | *He loves tumble dryers.
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| − | *Has a giant ego. [http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d17/CaptainKRool/4-Showoff.jpg No really.]
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| − | *He is a pyromaniac.
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| − | *Believes that there's fire where there's smoke.
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| − | *He's trapped in there.
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| − | *He had a reputation of helping kids learn things about life in a short segment called Sonic Sez, although after an absurd confession to Tails, he lost it and decided to instead teach people about how sex and drugs are cool. Sonic Sez is now the most viewed show in the world, topping all of the existing charts, and being downloaded by billions every minute.
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| − | *He is a pervert.
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| − | *Has the power to go Super.
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| − | *He had an car accident in 1992 and his vocal chords had to be replaced. Without anything else, the doctors gave the vocal chords of a [[No|local black kid]] to him. He later got his own voice back though... and then Sega forced him to change it again. Oy.
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| − | *Has a brother called Awesome Possum.
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| − | *He can play guitar. If you're lucky he'll show you his Eddie Van Hedgehog impression.
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| − | [[Image:Sequels1a.jpg|frame|right|The list of sequels Sonic The Hedgehog has done.]]
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| − | *Lost a lot of weight between the Sega Genesis/Mega Drive and the Sega Dreamcast eras.
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| − | *He has a partnership with Tex Avery.
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| − | *Did he put a tube in his mouth? LMAO?
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| − | *He once called a male drug abusing rabbit a [[Lesbian|dyke]].
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| − | *During his time in court, Sonic admitted he only lip synches the [[Sonic Underground]] songs and that it's [[Edd]] who does all the singing for him.
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| − | *If he masturbates too much he turns into his Werehog form, as seen in Sonic Unleashed. This form is filled with primal fury and an excess of guilt.
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| − | *Is now currently working in porno movies to help him get over his problems. (If only he knew that it'd make them even worse.)
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| − | *Was [[one]] of [[two]] video game characters to appear as a Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade's balloon (the other was <s>Mario</s> [[Pikachu]]).
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| − | *Might be related to [[Don Patch]].
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| − | *May or may [[no]]t be [[Aladdin]].
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| − | *Also once used a [[sword]] for battle against the Black Knight.
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| − | *Thankfully, he decided to [[Yes|go back to 2-D before it's too late for him.]]
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| − | *Shadow once stole his line. What's funny is that Sonic has never said the line in question throughout his entire life.
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| − | *He believes you can't catch him, at least not until the fall of [[1993|'93]].
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| − | *He cannot play [[baseball]].
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| − | [[Category:Characters - Appears in Sonic the Hedgehog]]
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| − | [[Category:Bisexual Characters]]
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| − | [[Category:Pedophiles]]
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| − | [[Category:Video Game Characters]]
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| − | [[Category:Comic Book Characters]]
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| − | [[Category:Anime Characters]]
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| − | [[Category:Nostalgia Critic]]
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| − | [[Category:Porno Watchers/Lovers]]
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| − | [[Category:Animals]]
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| − | [[Category:Athletes]]
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| − | [[Category:Fighters]]
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| − | [[Category:Olympiads]]
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| − | [[Category:Characters - Appears in Super Smash Bros.]]
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| − | [[Category:Race Car Drivers]]
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| − | [[Category:Sega Characters]]
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This article is filed under Characters.
